Entertainment

Bill & Eric's Chances Don't Look So Good

Things aren't looking too good for your favorite handsome, Southern vampires. In the latest episode of True Blood, Eric is getting closer to dying and Bill seems to have himself a death wish. For my money, neither of these guys will survive the series finale.

Now, as much as my distaste for Bill has me hoping he and Sookie don't end up together, I'm not exactly hoping the guy kicks the bucket either. He's doing his best to make amends by leading this anti V-vamp army on his own. And while Eric's death would be a great dramatic moment, he's all we have left now that Alcide is gone. I don't want either of these vampires to die, but it's beginning to look a lot like that may be a reality we have to face.

Think about it this way: The series has never been able to settle on a definitive answer to the Team Bill or Team Eric question. Every time it looks like Bill is endgame in the Who Will Sookie Love Forever? Tournament, Eric appears to take that role on too. This week was no different, as Eric waltzed into Bill's pre-Fangtasia battle meeting and took Sookie's breath away. The duo stole away to Bill's office, where Sookie says she needs Eric and asks him not to die before he envelops her and strokes her hair. The chemistry is undeniable. You think, "Of course Eric is the endgame for Sookie."

But then we think back to moments before, when Bill delivered his half-assed apology to Sookie, saying he owes her big time. Sookie offered him her blood, not from her arm, where every other symbiotic vampire and human have chosen to enact the feeding process. Nope. Sookie offers up her sexually-charged feeding spot: her neck. "It's just lunch," she promises. But we know differently, and so does the look of pure ecstasy on Bill's pale face. Nice try, y'all.

The problem is that with all of this, we're right back where we started. We're still no closer to figuring out which of these two men are "meant for" Sookie. There's Eric, who pulls her in like a magnet and bought her house for her so that she could have a happy, full, vampire-less life. He loves her so much, he let her go — big time.

Then there's Bill, who was the worst in every sense of the word, but who's become all sacrificial and martyr-like. He's doing everything in his power to help Sookie and everyone she loves. He's distant, but that's just because she respects her feelings for Alcide and her reservation towards him.

Clearly, the only way to clear this whole thing up is to leave Sookie with neither vampire. But how can True Blood do its True Blood thing and take the Sookie-ends-up-with-herself conclusion completely over the top? By killing off both romantic options for Sookie in the final episode, much like when Bill & Eric were once tied to a stake together.

But why all this senseless anti-vampire violence? Sookie is a sucker for those she loves, and she'd never be completely independent without having Bill and Eric completely out of her life. She'd always be called back to both flames like the pretty little moth she is. Sookie's always told us that she's independent, but when there are hot vampires about, but she's helpless when it comes to those two. If they're gone, she could actually be independent, like she's always wanted to be. She could sever her vampire ties and finally live her own life.

And since our crew is most definitely facing a huge hurdle once the end of the series is upon us, wouldn't it be heroic and shocking to see both men go out in a blaze of glory? It would allow Bill to sacrifice himself for the greater good and end his self-torturing existence (goodbye, sad and boring Civil War flashbacks) and it would allow for Eric to die by something far more worthy of his legacy than some dumb old virus. (Guys, some medical issue cannot be the thing that takes down this mighty vampire.)

Of course, everything could change courses next episode because True Blood never seems to know where it's heading, but from where I sit now, Eric and Bill are completely and totally doomed.

Images: HBO (2)