Kanye West’s Failed Reality Pilot Lets Everyone in on How He Avoids Normals

If you ever spot Kanye West in an airport, you should know that he doesn’t want to talk to you. As a member of the unwashed plebeian masses, your words hold no value for West. However, given his status as international superstar, West spends far more time in the airport than the average individual. To preserve his sanity, he has developed a fool-proof system to avoid talking to normals. How, you ask, does he evade acknowledging the common man? West has phony cell phone conversations, of course!

TMZ got ahold of a clip from a failed 2010 pilot about travel agent to the stars Brett Grolsch, which features West discussing airport pet peeves. One of them is “layovers.” See, the thing is, West has a lot of trouble with people in airports. After all, people in airports are supremely bored, and bored people in transit have nothing better to do than to approach you and say, “Hey, are you Kanye West?” In the clip, West reveals that he combats this annoyance by walking around the concourse with his cell glued to his ear — just like you do when you’re walking through an area you don’t feel safe in. For West, the airport is basically one massive bad neighborhood. So much for having a beautiful, childlike soul, right?

However, this can’t be the only trick up his social-anxiety sleeve. Let’s explore all the strategies that West likely uses to avoid talking to people in the airport so when the day comes and you see him perusing cologne at the Duty Free shop, you'll be able to recognize that he just doesn’t want to be bothered.

Phony cell phone conversations

Sometimes just holding the phone up to your ear isn’t enough to get people to leave you alone. West reveals this insight in a clip from the pilot. West briefs Grolsch and his team on his fake phone convo strategy, which sometimes includes a fake argument.

This is how you can get away with not snapping at a fan, is that you snap at the person that you’re on the phone with. And it lets them know that they’re interrupting the shit outta you.

As you can see above, the subtlety in his execution of the fake phone convo is that of an expert grouch.

Shutter shades, regular shades, anything to obscure his face

He really doesn’t want to make eye contact, and thus register that you’re a fellow human being. Sometimes, you just gotta go old-school bananas and wear a mask.

Being blatantly socially inappropriate

Nobody wants to talk to a downer, so perhaps he pulls out some conversation-killing subjects, i.e., death. Clearly, mortality is not a hot topic for all people who are about to board a plane.

Or perhaps he just prefers to sulk. Nobody wants to talk to sad Kanye.

Okay, we get the hint, Kanye. We will not talk to you when you're playing 2048, waiting to board your plane.

Images: OnlyKanye, Blind-Threat, Yeezusquote/Tumblr