Jason Biggs' Larry Spinoff of 'Orange Is The New Black' Would Be Amazing

Larry haters, listen up! Jason Biggs has joked that a Larry spinoff would be amazing , perhaps in part thanks to all of your incessant loathing. Okay, okay — there's not really a Larry spinoff happening (yet...), but a whole lot of Larry is circulating on the Internet. The real-life Larry, Larry Smith, a successful writer and editor upon which Biggs' character on Orange Is The New Black is based, has taken to the Internet in light of OITNB's success and popularity. He's written a full essay about what it's like being the real-life Larry, but he also sat down for a really juicy conversation with Biggs, which is how he got that joke about a Larry spinoff started. Here's what happened in that part of the conversation:

Larry: How long do you think Orange Is the New Black will go on?
Jason: Let’s think about it realistically. In terms of the way they have spaced it out so far, the first season took place over a few months. And I think the same for this season; maybe less time, actually, in Season 2. So maybe this is like a month or two. The truth is, they could stretch this thing for a long time. And they could even switch the protagonist. Jenji’s not afraid to do it. And the diversity of the cast is part of the reason the show is such a big hit.
Larry: The Larry spinoff is going to be awesome.
Jason: It’s going to be amazing.

It would definitely be amazing, considering all of the "fuck you, Larry memes" it would inspire. While, of course, a spinoff about Taystee, Morello, Poussey, or one of the other inmates would potentially be more interesting than an entire show about the douchey Larry, let's still use our imaginations for a bit.

What would a Larry spinoff look like? Orange Is The New Bloom, right?

It Would Be A Journalism Series

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Err'body loves a newsroom drama (and old typewriters!!). Larry's a journalist, so let's see what he's like in a high-stress newsroom environment. And since it's Netflix, let's make shout outs to another Netflix-born journalist, Zoe Barnes (RIP).

There Would Be Lots of Young Larry Flashbacks

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Perhaps he was a big fan of apple pie...

There Would Be A Lot of Organic Produce

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It's what a "Park Slope narcissist" eats, right? Gotta love those sweet, sweet-ass organic blueberries.

There Would Be A Lot of Stealthy Mad Men Watching

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He watched it without Piper. He's not sorry.

There would only be tiny references and allusions to Piper

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She's moved on, y'know? She's cool with it. Prison made her tough. She's not dwelling on Larry in his spinoff!

Larry gets Baptized and decides to become a new man to start over after Piper

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Larry abandons his Judaism and his soup-devouring skills and has a fresh new start. Pennsatucky is so proud.

Larry & Cal: The Sitcom!

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Starring Cal's deep thoughts.

Or It would potentially start after he and Polly are married with kids, and the kids dig up some of his old stories about Piper

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How I Met Your Convict Not-Mother

It would be about an insufferable man dealing with Internet hate

One man must overcome a lifetime of "Fuck you, Larry..." and so begins his journey...

Images: Giphy (8); biggsjason/Instagram (3)