Somebody Stake Jason's Girlfriend on 'True Blood'

by Christine DiStasio

Can I call in an order for the True Death, please? True Blood Season 7 has been a blood bath, starting with the unceremonious death of Tara. And it's mercilessly continued to amp up the body count when the show killed off Alcide two weeks ago and sent Arlene to her death bed last Sunday. Our favorite characters are getting staked, shot, drained, and liquified left and right. So, why the hell hasn't Jason Stackhouse's vampire girlfriend Violet gotten the axe yet? Because she's really got it coming.

Of all of the girlfriends Jason's had since True Blood started seven, long seasons ago (and there have been a lot), Violet has to be the worst. When the HBO series introduced the brunette vampire into the series as a tough-as-nails Authority prisoner at the end of Season 6, she seemed like she was going to be pretty badass. Violet talked the feminist talk and barged onto the show acting like she was going to teach all of these men, human and vampire alike, that girls really do run the world. Which was great, but when Season 7 premiered, Violet quickly threw herself under the bus and forced me to pin a target to her back when she became the absolute worst.

Her rant in Season 7's third episode about how Jason shouldn't be effected by the traumatic, depressing death of women and children in a neighboring town was disappointing. Especially when she claimed that it made him less of a man because he had feelings. For a seemingly modern, girl-power woman, that's some archaic bullshit. Violet's just become increasingly unlikable, which is hard for me to say, considering Jason dated all of these terrible women (except for Jess) over the past six seasons:

The First Bad Decision: Maudette Pickens

The first of Jason's many women — Maudette wasn't his girlfriend, but they got together for some no-strings-attached sex. She also got together with a bunch of a vampires and almost framed Jason for murder in Season 1 by filming their encounter and then getting killed by a vampire. #Regrets

The Ex: Dawn Green

Another woman that was into vampires, another woman found dead. After Maudette, Jason briefly got back with Dawn until he realized that she was into kinky vampire sex too. The day after their would-be reunion, Dawn didn't show up for work at Merlotte's and Sookie went instead (so that's why Sook-eh happened? God damnit) and ended up being found dead.

The V Addict: Amy

Another dead girlfriend — Amy was cool, but she ended up getting Jason addicted to V and that was just lame.

The Married Woman: Sarah Newlin

The devil herself. Sarah Newlin was perhaps the worst woman to ever appear on True Blood and her reign of terror isn't over yet. But it was her manipulative relationship with Jason after he joined the Fellowship of the Sun that's really not cool.

The Werepanther: Crystal Norris

WTF even is a werepanther? In possibly one of the most absurd and unnecessary True Blood subplots ever, Jason pursued Crystal, who lived with essentially her entire family on a compound that looked like a rejected True Detective set. Did I mention that she was engaged to her half-brother when Jason started trying to date her? Really just screwed up.

His Best Friend's Girl: Jessica Hamby

It's unfair to even put Jess on this list because I don't believe she's the worst in the slightest. In fact, I'm whole-heartedly #TeamJess, even if their relationship came after Jason stole his best friend, Hoyt's, girlfriend. But still, #TeamJess.

I rest my case, Violet is the worst.

Image: HBO; Giphy (3); Whifflegif, hellyeahtrueblood, jasonstheman/Tumblr