I’ve known that self-stirring coffee mugs exist for a pretty considerable amount of time; I’d never seen one of them in action, though — until today. Ryoko Iwata, the java obsessee behind ILoveCoffee.jp, just received one of them for her birthday, and luckily for us, she’s decided to demonstrate exactly how it works.
Iwata posted a short video on Instagram yesterday, along with a corresponding post on her website today. I’ve no doubt the self-stirring mug was a gag gift; there’s really no reason anyone would actually need one, unless for some reason your home was totally devoid of things you could stick in your coffee to adequately mix the milk, cream, sugar, or whatever you like to put in it. That said, though, it’s sort of bizarrely mesmerizing to watch a mug of coffee turn into a perfect little whirlpool at the push of a button. I keep expecting a miniature kraken or Cthulhu or something to rise from the middle of the swirling sea of caffeine.
Nor is the self-stirring coffee mug the only slightly bizarre coffee accessory out there that you probably don’t need. What about these other picks? Has anyone ever given them a shot?
1. Self-Stirring Coffee Mug
Here’s that video, for the curious. And hey, when the self-stirring mechanism eventually breaks (because you know it’s going to), at least you can still, y’know, stir your coffee the old-fashioned way, right?
2. Wood Pour Over Stand and #4 Cone Set
Uh, Starbucks? You do realize that you can get a pour over cone for three bucks elsewhere, right? Is there any reason you need to charge $40 for the same thing, especially when the lovely cups depicted in the image of the product don’t come with it? For that price, you’re better off getting a one-cup French press — you’ll get way better coffee out of it.
3. Slush Mug
I can’t say it’s ever occurred to me to turn my coffee into a slushie, but I suppose it’s really just a low-brow granita.
4. Iced Coffee Maker
Oh, come on. You really need a fancy device to make iced coffee? Two words: Cold brew. Or just keep a bottle of previously made stuff in the fridge. Either way, it’ll be way more cost effective — and if you go the cold brew route, it’ll taste better, too.
5. Mug Warmer
Or you could just do what the rest of us do and just stick your mug in the microwave for a minute when it gets cold. Mug warmer, schmug warmer.
6. Build-On Brick Mug
OK, I may not strictly need this LEGO-esque mug — but I definitely want it. Because I am 29 years old and I still play with my food.
7. 50 Cups of Coffee Caffeinated Candy
Four pieces has the same amount of caffeine a cup of coffee does (plus a ridiculous amount of sugar).
8. Cappuccino Art Stencils
Be honest: How many of us actually have the patience to make coffee art at home? My guess is not many — and really, isn’t the most impressive coffee art done free-hand, anyway?
9. Coffee Wall Art
I can’t say I’ve ever seen these kinds of wall hangings anywhere but in actual coffee shops, but, well, I suppose there’s a first time for everything.