A Kim Kardashian iPhone Game Investigation: What Happens When 3 #1s Collide

Up until Thursday, I avoided signing into Facebook or the Game Center on Kim Kardashian: Hollywood like the plague. I suppose I was scared to let my real world collide with my KK:H world. I’d built up a nice life for Kim the avatar (not to be confused with the Kim Kardashian character), and I did not want reality to impact it in any way: She has two apartments, a vacation home, a useless-but-awesome telescope, and the top spot on the A-list. You may think it's lonely at the top, but fellow Bustlers Samantha Rullo and Martha Sorren are #1 in their games, too. We're KILLLLLLIN' ITTTTT.

As thrilling as the three-way tie was, a few thoughts nagged at us: How can all of us be #1? Who is the #1 #1? What happens if all of us are in the same KK: H room? Might all three of us stay #1? That'd be so nice! I hope that's what happens.

We knew what we had to do. We had to log into the Game Center and arrange an avatar meet up. We needed to know if all three of us would remain #1 or if the game would adjust our ranks according to our fan counts. We hoped for the former. The latter might seem like the obvious answer, but we thought there might be a chance that the game wouldn't want to do anything to damage IRL friendships.

When and how does one reach #1, anyway? According to this handy KK:H guide penned by AngelaRM, you need over 50 million fans to "win" the game. "Win"= be an A-lister and set up shop in the #1 slot. If I’m being honest (I say as though my honesty’s been an issue throughout this post), I don't know when I hit #1. However, eagle-eye Sam snapped a screenshot the moment she reached #1:

57.5 million! DAAAMN.

Okay, back to our mission: After Sam and I added one another in the Game Center, we wasted zero time interacting with one another in the game. During a fashion show, I clicked that floating people icon I’d been so afraid of before. I clicked the “friends only” tab. LOOK WHO I FOUND:

Is my username Kristie Kardashian? Yes, yes it is. Has that been my Game Center username for years? Yes, yes it has. Am I fit for society? No, no I am not.

And that’s when I saw it: her rank. She was #2. I was #1. She had 60 million fans. I had 68.8 million fans. There you have it: the number of fans dictates your rank when playing with a friend. It doesn't matter if you're #1 in your own game. When playing the fame game (why isn't this game called Kim Kardashian: Fame Game?), fan count is everything.

I felt weird about it. We entered the KK:H ring as comrades, but now we were pitted against one another. We gchatted about it immediately. She called us “mortal enemies.” I was her new Willow Pape, and she was mine. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

So, what do the #1 and #2 mortal enemies do next? We walked the runway together:

And then, I sent her a gift, because why not?

And she sent me a gift:

And then, we hung out on the runway with our gifts:

Sam reached out to Martha IRL and asked her to get in on the Game Center fun. She did just that:

HEY GIRL. Those bangs are pure fire.

Wait. If Martha's #2...

THREE WILLOW PAPES. IT'S WORLD WAR K.

Images: Kim Kardashian: Hollywood [7]; misssamantharullo/Instagram