Justin Bieber Vs. Orlando Bloom — 7 Reasons Why You Should Be Team Bloom

It's not exactly a tough decision when you're forced to choose who to support in a fight between Justin Bieber and just about anyone else in the world. Justin Bieber vs. Satan? Satan. Justin Bieber vs. The Grinch? The Grinch. Justin Bieber vs. Fanny Packs? Fanny Packs. See? Easy. So, when forced to pick sides in the Orlando Bloom debacle, unless you're Selena Gomez or an overzealous twelve year old, I'm going to go ahead and assume you're Team Bloom. But, for the sake of fairness and justice, we shouldn't all just declare ourselves "Bloomies" before we set aside a definitive list as to why. Other than the glaringly obvious fact that Bieber sucks.

Because, he does.

So, before I go ahead and laud Bloom for his heroic action, I should probably mention that there are a whole plethora of reasons why you should take his side in this feud that have nothing to do with the epic almost-punch. No, my longstanding obsession with Bloom has a lot more to do with the fact that he's an all around decent human being, he stars in some of my all-time fave movies, and he doesn't have to flaunt his celebrity in order to garner respect like SOME blonde, incredibly immature, Canadian pop singers I know.

Bloom is reserved and refined and here's why you should be standing on his side of the ring:

1. HE WAS WILL TURNER AND LEGOLAS

Proof he can kick ass.

2. HE'S GOT A GREAT HEAD OF HAIR

You just wanna run your fingers through it.

3. HE'S AN AWESOMELY ATTENTIVE DAD

Jason Kempin/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

...And he makes an adorable baby

4. HE DOESN'T WEAR BUCKET HATS

Kevin Winter/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

5. HE HASN'T RESORTED TO PETTY, PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE SOCIAL MEDIA JABS

Someone's gotta be an adult.

6. HIS KILLER SMILE

LOOK. AT. IT.

7. AND, MOST IMPORTANTLY, HE NEVER SANG THIS:

JustinBieberVEVO on YouTube

Images: Getty Images (2); Giphy (5)