In Justin Bieber & Orlando Bloom’s Rivalry, Is Anyone Left On #TeamBieber? Anyone? Bueller?

If a day goes by and Justin Bieber doesn't do something incredibly douchey, does it really count? The King of Being an Idiot struck again when sources revealed Bieber got into an altercation with Orlando Bloom in Ibiza and fists flew. While nothing has yet been confirmed, speculation about the cause of the incident has been running rampant, most of which guesses the fight happened either over 1.) Selena Gomez, or 2.) Miranda Kerr. If you choose to believe the Lord of the Rings actor (and overall gentleman) just decided it was finally time the Biebs learned a lesson instead of squabbling over girls, that's totally fine — I'll happily sail down the river of denial alongside you.

Since the news of the brawl broke, celebrities have been pretty vocal on Twitter about whose side they're taking. While Bloom seems to have everyone and then some in his corner, Bieber is stuck with only his army of Beliebers for comfort. Granted, that army is batshit crazy and would probably cut anyone who dared speak ill of their Lord and Savior Justin, but still. The lines in the sand have been drawn, and Bieber is clearly on the losing side.

Besides breaking the Internet and spawning a few new hashtags, it's interesting to wonder who's really there for each of the warring parties behind closed doors. Let's take a look at the celebs who would definitely choose sides, but didn't feel the need to tweet about it.

Team Orlando

Seth Rogen — The actor has made it clear time and time again, that he is the card carrying President of the People Against Justin Bieber coalition. In an interview with Howard Stern on Siris radio in May 2014, Rogen spilled to the controversial radio host all about the first time he met Justin Bieber, when the singer requested to meet Rogen backstage at an event.

What the fuck, I don’t want to meet you! Don’t act all nonplussed to meet me. I didn’t want to meet you. I was like, ‘He’s a little bit of a motherfucker. Whatever. He’s a bit of a dick.'

So, uh, yeah, I think we can definitely consider Rogen on #TeamOrlando.

Taylor Swift — The country cutie has no problem lyrically bashing the guys she's not too fond of in her songs, and apparently she's not shy about her friends' choices in men either. T-Swizzle was none too pleased when her bestie Selena Gomez continued to date the Biebs, despite the fact he's a garbage boyfriend. Luckily, her grossed out reaction to Gomez kissing Bieber backstage at the VMAs was caught on camera, and we can all watch the footage over and over again until we forget Justin Bieber exists.

Leonardo DiCaprio - When the Wolf of Wall Street himself is cheering against you in a fight, it might be time to hang up your boxing gloves. DiCaprio was reportedly sitting with Orlando Bloom at Cipriani in Ibiza when the dramz when down, and vehemently cheered on Bloom throughout the fight. Let's hope he was either on quaaludes or wearing cargo shorts. Either is acceptable.

Team Bieber

Selena Gomez — On-again? Off-again? Can anyone even keep track anymore? Gomez deserves so much better than Bieber, but given their history, she's sure to be the one to help lick his wounds (let's hope not literally though. Ew. Gross. WORST VISUAL EVER). Gomez is def #TeamBieber all the way.

Kendall Jenner — Even when her buddy Gomez was feuding with Bieber, Jenner still decided to grab dinner and hear out his (most likely terrible and wrong and awful) side of things."Don't Trust a Kardashian" should be the unofficial 11th Commandment.

Michelle Rodriguez — The Fast & Furious 6 actress has been partying it up on a yacht in Ibiza with Bieber following the brawl. If jet-skiing and jumping off large, million dollar boats together doesn't scream friendship, then I don't know what does.

Hopefully, celebrities will be able to move on from this debacle soon (but if they can't, please let them continue to tweet hilarious things about it). Just remember everyone: no matter whose team you're on, you still won't win as hard as Leonardo DiCaprio is winning at summer.

Images: knoxville-rph, torie-rph, gifsforgomez, heresgifsforyou, gifhuntress/Tumblr; Vanity Fair