'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Isn't Here Yet But You Can Still Stay Overnight at Highclere Castle

Pack your bags — we're going to Downton Abbey! Just kidding, you only get to go if you're super rich (I'm out). According to Christie's online auction, an overnight stay in Highclere Castle — you know, the actual castle that Downton Abbey is based off of — is being auctioned off for a reasonable starting bid of £10,000 (that's only $16,824), according to The Hollywood Reporter.

That's right, if you've got the cash, you and five of your friends can win a one-night stay at the castle as guests of the Earl and Countess of Granth..., er, Carnarvon. As honored guests you'll stay in three of the rooms used during the filming of Season 1 of the show — that would be the bedrooms of Lady Sybil, Lady Edith, and Lady Cora — and will be treated to "cocktails, a three-course dinner, and a traditional English breakfast in the state dining room." All proceeds will go to various armed forces charities.

Here's the thing — all of those perks sound great and all (except for that whole "sleeping in the bed that Sybil died in" thing), but there's something missing... oh yeah, I know: a truly Downton Abbey-inspired experience. Here are a few of the things that should totally happen during the visit:

You get to have tea with the Dowager Countess of Grantham (while she insults you)

You'll get to smack Daisy for always being annoying

Mr. Carson will tell you your outfit is not suitable for going out in the town

Lady Rose will get you into a spot of trouble with Robert Crawley

One of Mary's Many suitors will kiss you (R.I.P. Matthew)

Then Mary will call you a tramp

Tom Branson will talk to you in his Irish accent causing you to go weak at your knees

Mrs. Patmore will sneak you a biscuit

Thomas Barrow will spread scandalous rumors about you until you cry

Luckily, Edith will make you feel like your life doesn't suck nearly as much as her's does

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