11 Things You Should Never Say to a Beyonce Fan
Honestly, this is more of a guide of what not to do in life than just a guide of what not to do if you find yourself in the presence of a Beyoncé fan. After all, as Saturday Night Live accurately pointed out, the Beygency is everywhere and they don't appreciate you talking smack about their idol. Of course, people are entitled to their own opinions about Beyoncé and she isn't actually the flawless goddess that pop culture has built her up to be. We Beyoncé fans know that. However, the fact of the matter is that whether you like her or not, Beyoncé is currently a phenomenon and she has more than earned your respect.
If you don't respect her, then you might not actually find the Beygency on your tail but there is a reason that her fans are known as the Beyhive. If you rattle that hive, they're all going to fly out and sting you. Luckily for the world, Beyoncé's fans aren't prone to the blind defensiveness and rampant death threats that the fans of One Direction, Justin Bieber, and Demi Lovato are near-constantly embroiled in, but there are still some choice phrases that you should avoid unless you want a screaming Beyoncé fan in your face.
Reactions may vary on an individual basis, but, in general, here are 11 phrases that no Beyoncé fan wants to hear come out of your mouth.
"I can't stand Beyoncé."
If your response to finding out that someone is a Beyoncé fan is to immediately say that you hate Beyoncé, there's nothing wrong with that. If your entire reason for hating Beyoncé is that you "just hate" Beyoncé and you mention this as often as you possibly can, then prepare to get slapped. You hate Beyoncé, I like Beyoncé, let's stop talking about Beyoncé before this gets physical.
"Why does she dress so slutty all the time?"
Because people like you keep labeling a woman who dresses in revealing clothes that flatter her body as slutty. Actually, you know what? Because she wants to and is comfortable that way. It has nothing to do with you.
"She's only with Jay Z for his money."
Beyoncé's estimated net worth is $450 million. She doesn't need to be with anyone for their money. She's Beyoncé.
"She ruined Destiny's Child."
Considering two of the early members of Destiny's Child quit due in part to the extreme focus on Beyoncé, that was more her father Matthew Knowles' fault than it was Beyoncé's fault. Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams don't seem to share your opinion, which probably means you should just shut up.
"Kelly Rowland and/or Michelle Williams are 10 times more talented."
Really? Really? You're going to pit the members of Destiny's Child against each other? They're not in competition, they're all talented, and being a fan of Beyoncé doesn't mean you don't think Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams are talented too.
"What kind of stupid name is Beyoncé?"
The best name. (OK, it's actually based off her mother's maiden name of Beyincé. But, still, it's the best name.)
"Have you heard the hilarious Beyoncé and Jay Z divorce rumors?"
You had better mean hilarious as in the rumors are getting increasingly ridiculous and not hilarious as in you actually find it funny that Beyoncé and Jay Z might be having marital troubles.
"All of her music is terrible."
Your opinion is not my problem. Driver, roll up the partition please.
"She talks about sex way too much."
How is this a complaint? If you don't want to hear sexual references in her songs, then don't listen to her songs with sexual references. Or just don't listen to her songs. But don't try to take away her right to discuss her sexuality over a catchy beat.
"Beyoncé's really ugly."
Oh, sorry, I didn't realize that you were completely blind. If Beyoncé's not your cup of tea, then Beyoncé's not your cup of tea, but don't call her ugly.
"Are you one of those Beyoncé fans?"
Yes. No. Maybe. Who cares? There's no need to make it sound like a certain sect of Beyoncé fans are psychos you're trying to avoid. That's true of every celebrity, thanks.
Image: YouTube; beyonce/Instagram