If Taylor Swift Gives You $90 For Chipotle, Which Is Something That Happens, You'll Need This Guide
In recent news, human incarnation of an angel Taylor Swift gave a girl $90 to spend on Chipotle. Ugh, there are so many emotions packed into that little phrase between "Taylor Swift," "$90," and "Chipotle." Swift flew down from the celebrity skies and happened to run into Micaela Rodriguez, a Long Island teen who went to New York City with her friends to celebrate her birthday. Rodriguez and her firends were merrily rowing boats along in Central Park, when her friends saw Swift, which is in of itself enough of a birthday present. Rodriguez's friends informed Swift that it was Rodriguez's birthday, and of course Swift took a picture with Rodriguez because Swift is not Avril Lavigne, who doesn't let her fans touch her during photo ops.
Rodriguez reveals Swift asked her how her birthday was going, and she responded with the news that she and her pals were going to Chipotle. Swift then reached into her purse and gave the girl $90 so she and her friends could "have a fancy dinner." Just because.
The Huffington Post later tracked down Rodriguez for an interview to find out what it's like to have a b-day dinner on T. Swift. You're probably expecting an answer like, "A MIRACLE" or "I didn't think that guacamole and refried beans could taste anymore like edible chunks of heaven, yet somehow, they do," but hold thy chips and guac for a moment. Rodriguez didn't end up eating Chipotle. Here's what she said to The Huffington Post:
Did you go to Chipotle?No, we had to go back to Long Island.
What did you spend the $90 on?I don't know. I still have it.
Are you going to frame it?I think I'm gonna frame it in my room.
Would you have expected her to be like that? She was so sweet! She was so nice.
Did she smell good? She looked like a porcelain doll.
I'll ignore the part about Swift "smelling like she looks like a porcelain doll," and zero in on the fact that YOU CAN GET SO MUCH AT CHIPTOLE FOR $90. As someone who is a firm believer in never saying no to anything with a tortilla chip attached to it, I've decided to come up with some combinations that Rodriguez and her friends could have consumed had they taken Swift up on her offer to buy them all dinner at Chipotle (all prices taken from Fast Food Menu Prices).
I've added margaritas to the mix because even though these girls were celebrating a 17th birthday and wouldn't have been able to purchase alcohol, if I had the opportunity to spend $90 on chipotle, a margarita would most definitely be on my list.
Enjoy the Chipotle food porn!
14 Chicken Burritos, 2 Orders of Chips
One for each of your 14 friends, or 14 for you.
9 Carnitas Burrito Bowls, 9 Orders of Chips, 10 Orders of Guac With $0.90 Remaining
Perfect for a party of nine, especially for that one person who always wants more guac.
5 Chicken Burritos, 5 Vegetarian Burritos, 5 Orders of Chips and Guac, 5 Orders of Chips and Salsa, 1 Large Beer
One lucky person gets the beer, but everyone else doesn't care because there are so many burritos.
4 Sauza Margaritas, 4 Large Beers, 11 Orders of Chips and Guac, 2 Burrito Bowls With $0.45 Remaining
You know, a drunk meal.
10 Chicken Burritos, 4 Sauza Margaritas, 1 Order of Chips and Guac, 1 Order of Salsa With .30 Remaining
And these are just some of the options. Basically, with $90 at Chipotle, the options are limitless. You can go wild. However, that $90 will likely be framed by Rodriguez. C'est la vie. More Chipotle for the rest of us.
Images: Getty Images (5); Fotolia