Kim Kardashian's Selfie Book Is Being Published & I Understand If This News Is Overwhelming You

So ya know how Kim Kardashian was taking a bunch of photos of herself to give to Kanye West in book form? (If you don't know, then where the heck have you been?! Not following the ins and outs of Kim K.'s life? Weirdo...) Well, in classic Kardashian fashion, she's decided to make some money off the thing. Kim Kardashian is publishing a selfie book. Like, publishing it. For the masses. You know, for those people who don't have smartphones and cannot look at pictures of Kim Kardashian on her Instagram account; and those people who don't have TVs and can't watch one of Kim's reality TV shows; and those people who don't have Internet access and cannot look at photos of Kim EVERYWHERE. Some people just happen to only like books, and those people's Kim Kardashian needs have gone unfulfilled until now.

According to E! Online, the book is titled Selfish , will be published by Rizzoli's Universe imprint, will be a "hardcover tome of 352 pages," will cost $19.95, and will debut in April 2015.

I seriously cannot believe this news. Yet, it's also soooo predictable. It is that perfect combination of insanity and awesomeness that only comes along every once in a while and often from the Kardashians. (See also: Rebels: City of Indra : The Story of Lex and Livia .) I am genuinely overwhelmed. There are just so many things going on here that it's hard to wrap my head around this. Here's everything I'm thinking right now.

  • Does she know the cover makes it look like her middle name is selfish? As in, "'Selfish' is my middle name!" Kim "Selfish" Kardashian. I can't.
  • Or was she just inspired by the massive success of her iPhone game? I get the whole "gotta make that money" philosophy, I suppose, but at some point don't you feel like you wanna stop making that money?
  • Is this some sort of meta thing where she's teaching all of us that selfies have really been a thing all along, as in, self-portraits that were printed on paper, and we need to stop obsessing about selfies already?
  • Is she secretly a genius? I've wondered this before and I'm thinking my suspicions were correct.
  • Is this like that time Kris Jenner "accidentally" took the calendar Kim made for Reggie Bush to the printers because she thought it was supposed to be for sale in stores, and then Kim had to go buy up all the calendars that were already distributed? Oh pleeeease let this be like that.
  • Is it even an option for that to be part of a Keeping Up with the Kardashians episode? Can reality shows have callbacks?
  • Are they really ALL selfies? If she got her assistant to take some of the photos, that totally shouldn't count.
  • Does Kanye know about this? Is Kanye going to go on a rant about how Kim is changing the media landscape and taking focus away from the Internet and back on to print?
  • If that's the case, will I lose my job? And, if so, can I work on Kim Kardashian's next book?
  • For real though, does she realize the cover says, Kim "Selfish" Kardashian? IT'S TOO MUCH!!!

Woo! Now that that's out of my system, I can move on and work on finding out about any pre-order options.

Images: Rizzoli Universe; Giphy (2)