If Jay Z Is Trying to Save Marriage to Beyonce, He'll Have to Do Better Than Flowers & Candy
Even though the On the Run Tour has ended without Jay Z and Beyoncé announcing their divorce despite what everyone has been saying about the state of their relationship, that's not going to stop people from speculating about what's taking them so long. At this point, there's probably nothing that Jay Z and Beyoncé can do to convince people they aren't having marital troubles, even though Beyoncé posted an Instagram photo of herself in a Carter jersey as if to say, "See? We're on each other's team!" The latest news on the "Beyoncé and Jay Z are toooootally getting a divorce" front is that Jay Z is trying to save his marriage with Beyoncé by "pulling out all the stops", which apparently includes flowers, constant texts, and telling her that he loves her.
Hold up. Wait a minute. You're telling me that Jay Z is trying to save his marriage by employing all the same methods as a teenage boy who accidentally told his girlfriend that her ass does look fat in those jeans? You're telling me that Shawn "Hova" Carter thinks that flowers and text messages are going to be the thing that saves his marriage when he's got a net worth of $520 Million? Flowers and text messages are what E! Online's source considers "pulling out all the stops"?
Yeah, no. If there's any truth to the fact that Jay Z is trying his hardest to save his marriage, then he's going to have to try a little harder than that. In fact, here are seven ways that Jay Z could really show he's putting some effort in here.
1. Buy Her a Flower Wall.
Kanye West bought Kim Kardashian a flower wall for mother's day and she was utterly delighted by it. If flowers are really the way that Jay Z wants to go on this, then he needs to step up his game. Bouquets are for people who can't afford to replace an entire wall in their house with flowers, okay?
2. Take a romantic getaway.
Remember when Jay Z was reportedly buying Beyoncé an island? Well, if he didn't really do it then now would be a good time to shell out those millions and take Beyoncé away on a romantic getaway. If he's trying to avoid a divorce, it's the perfect way to say I care about you so let's be alone without having a show to prepare for. If these divorce rumors have no truth to them (again), then it's the perfect way to get some peace.
3. Name his next album after her.
Okay, so when Robin Thicke did it, we just considered it beyond creepy and wished he would stop promoting it so much. But that's because Thicke did it months after Paula Patton had basically decided that she wanted nothing more to do with him. If Jay Z did it now, it would not only show Beyoncé how serious he is about wanting to keep her in his life, but it would be another thing that they could partner on.
4. Make her the star of his next music video.
Arguably, Beyoncé is the star of any video that she is in no matter how brief her appearance is, but creating a video completely surrounding Beyoncé would be the perfect opportunity for Jay Z to show how highly he regards his lady. I already selfishly hope it's a video composed entirely of home movies. We didn't get nearly enough of those during the On the Run Tour.
5. Create a collage of her best magazine covers.
If Kim Kardashian can go out and buy out as many of her Vogue covers as she can carry, then Jay Z can do the same thing with the many, many magazines that Beyoncé has appeared on the cover of, especially in the last year. It would be like a flower wall, except more personal and involve a lot more DIY arts and crafts. Blue Ivy could even help out.
6. Name a star after her.
All right, so I just consider this one of the most romantic things in the world, but think of how many stars Jay Z could buy with his kind of money. Not only would he be saying that Beyoncé is his star, but he could probably even buy enough of them to trace an entire Beyoncé constellation in the sky. How cool is that?
7. Donate his half of the On the Run Tour money to her favorite charity.
Considering how much money they both made during the On the Run Tour, this would be the biggest gesture of them all. The most common reason people theorize for why Jay Z and Beyoncé have stayed together this long has been for money, so Jay Z proving that's not the case by donating his half to Beyoncé's favorite charity would really say a lot. When you're Jay Z, flowers and candy just don't cut it.
Image: Getty Images; kimkardashian/Instagram