Let's Not Compare J. Law and Gwyneth Paltrow

I don't know about you, but I'm still reeling from the rumor that Chris Martin and Jennifer Lawrence are dating. Seriously, who could have ever seen that conscious coupling coming? Martin is coming from a highly publicized and highly mocked conscious uncoupling with Gwyneth Paltrow while Lawrence just broke up with Nicholas Hoult for the second time with absolutely zero drama between them. After all, Hoult and Lawrence are busy and tend to time their renewed relationships around when they're together filming the X-Men movies anyway. However, the Daily Mail is reporting that Martin is attracted to Lawrence because she's Paltrow's opposite in every way and that is not okay.

Sure, Bustle's own Sofia Barrett-Ibarria joked that Lawrence and Paltrow are total opposites, but that's just a fact of life. For rumors to be flying that this is the whole reason for the attraction between Martin and Lawrence in the first place is not only unfair to Martin and Lawrence but also to Lawrence and Paltrow. According to the Daily Mail, "Chris feels he is dating someone who has everything he's been missing out on in the past 11 years", citing Lawrence's laid-back attitude and the fact that she's replacing Paltrow's "healthy diet and strict fitness routine" with "[smoking] and... tucking into pizza".

Listen, I'm not denying the fact that people getting out of a bad relationship tend to want to be with someone who is completely different from their last partner, but Martin didn't just get out of a bad relationship. By all reports of his split with Paltrow, Martin and Paltrow have never been anything but amicable and their relationship was just one of those things that didn't work out. "Conscious uncoupling" doesn't mean that Martin has felt like he's been under Paltrow's thumb for years, like these new reports are implying.

Besides, comparing Paltrow and Lawrence as partners for Martin and implying that one of them comes up short is just another way that people perpetuate the idea that two women must always be in competition with each other. Lawrence could be good for Martin in a way that has absolutely nothing to do with being everything that Paltrow wasn't or giving Martin everything that Paltrow wouldn't. Paltrow and Martin were happy together for 11 years and the fact that they've both moved on to other people shouldn't invite negative comparisons.

It's particularly telling that while Paltrow is rumored to be dating Brad Falchuk, there have been no reports surfacing about how she's dating him because he's different from Martin or on how her relationship with Falchuk is different/better than her relationship with Martin. For all we know, it could be 100% true that Martin is dating Lawrence because she's Paltrow's polar opposite, but it's important to realize what a problematic story that is — especially when it comes as the next stage in reporting about Lawrence and Martin's relationship.

Lawrence and Paltrow are both amazing women and Martin can, and has been, very happy with both of them. Just because they have different things to offer doesn't make one better than the other, just like Paltrow moving from Martin to Falchuck isn't an indication that Falchuck is somehow better than Martin. Lawrence might be better for Martin in the long run, but there's no way of knowing that when it's not even confirmed that they're dating yet. Let's try not to take the Paltrow and Lawrence comparisons too seriously, guys. It's not fair to them.

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