He's Hot, But He's Also The Worst

One of Bravo's best summer shows, Below Deck, is a primer on many things, including just how obnoxious rich people can be to people in the service industry. The crew has changed a lot from Season 1 to Season 2, including the addition of new Below Deck hand Andrew Sturby, a model and YouTube star who's using the show as his own personal summer vacation. While Kate may be in the yachting industry in hopes of meeting a rich husband, and Kat just want to have a good time, but Andrew literally considers this job a chance to get out of his parents' house for a few months, which… dude. That's not something you want to admit on television. But that's honestly the least of Andrew's problems, because he may be the least qualified person for the deckhand position in North America.

I don't know how Captain Lee let this landlubber (is pirate slang the same as yachting slang?) on his boat. Andrew is out of shape, has literally no experience, and is the most stereotypical millennial I've ever seen committed to film. This includes every single character on Girls and every subject of My Super Sweet Sixteen. I mean, this kid doesn't understand the idea of bottled water. Come on.

He's already been totally upstaged by badass Jennice, the only female deckhand, and she's roundly beat him at every assigned task, even though she's maybe half of his height. But elbow grease and brainpower count for a lot on the Ohana, so the mental calisthenics required to not open a porthole to get some "fresh air" are more important than being able to reach far off corner or lift heavy ropes.

Andrew is so bad, he even makes CJ from Season 1 seem like a reasonable employee. CJ, the guy who refused to wear a shirt, drank beer while on charter (rule number one on Captain Lee's boat!), and thought Sam's "please stop trying to make out with me" meant "yes." He was also a tattletale. And yet if Below Deck wasn't so so good at punishing the weak and the terrible, I'd wish CJ was here instead. But Andrew will no doubt fall, and it will be glorious.

Anyone who's "over it" on day one probably won't do well on this job. Also, anyone who uses "six hours of sleep" as an excuse for being tired and lazy on the job has never worked a day in their life. Or studied for a really tough final. Or spent all night out partying. This kid could not possibly be more sheltered.

He's also willing to pimp himself out to an uncomfortable degree. Who knows what lapse in judgement allowed him to think that Captain Lee would let him dine with the guests, but it certainly led him to act like a huge idiot, flirting with middle aged Southern women and taking bikini photos with them.

Calling it right now: there is no way Andrew Sturby makes it to the end of Below Deck Season 2. I'm going to bet he falls off of the boat at some point and they sail off, none the wiser.

Image: Tommy Garcia/Bravo