Who Walked Kim Kardashian Down the Aisle at her Wedding? No Offense Kim, But We Have Better Ideas
While we've already seen photos of Kim Kardashian's marriage to rapper Kanye West, Kardashian's hit show Keeping Up with the Kardashians hasn't yet covered the couple's wedding day. And let's be honest, no matter how much the internet tries, we don't really know what happens in Kim Kardashian's life until we see it thoroughly explored through the glitter-dusted eyes of her incredibly close knit sisters on the show. And while we all know what happened last time, I still can't wait to see how the wedding unfolds. This Sunday is the lead-up episode to the Kimye wedding on E! at 9 p.m., and the Season 9 finale will air Monday at 9 p.m. So start texting your friends and getting the snacks ready, because that makes two huge nights to prepare for.
Shortly after the May wedding, E! confirmed that Kim's stepfather Bruce Jenner walked her down the aisle. But since KUWTK viewers haven't actually watched the wedding yet, we can pretend like we don't know that. Instead, we can speculate on who else could have walked with Kim, and how that might have affected the day. No offense, Kim. I'm sure you made the right decision, but let's just reconsider some of your other options.
Who: Kim's brother
Why: Rob's just been having a hard time lately. Maybe walking Kim down the aisle would have reminded him that he's important to his family.
What would've happened before the ceremony: Let's be honest, Rob and Kim would've fought about it. Kim would've asked him, Rob probably would've declined. Kim would've been offended. Then Kris would've asked why Kim didn't ask Bruce first... then things would've gotten awkward.
During: I think it would've been adorable, Rob walking his sister down the aisle. The kind of sweet Kardashian moment that somehow condones us spending our time watching this show.
After: I'm seeing fist bumps.
Who: Kanye West's very good friend... probably his best friend.
Why: Because she just wants Blue Ivy and North to have a freaking playdate already. And because, why won't Beyonce just love Kim back?
What would've happened before the ceremony: I'm picturing a bunch of ignored calls and text messages as Kim tried to ask Jay Z to do her this honor. And maybe a lot of "uhhhhh....." sounds coming out of Jay's mouth.
During: Awkward. All of the awkward. Jay would still be asking himself, why would she ever ask me?
After: A huge thank you hug from Kim Kardashian, only to be received as a side hug from Mr. Carter. But, um, never again.
Who: Kim's unofficial brother-in-law, Kourtney's boyfriend.
Why: Disick's the funny one on KUWTK. When all the girls' drama is escalating too quickly, he's always there with an inappropriate joke to lighten the mood.
What would've happened before the ceremony: Disick would probably indulge in some light teasing of Kim, which would lead to something being misinterpreted. After all, Kim is very stressed about the wedding. She does not have time for Disick's shenanigans. Kourtney would get involved, the bickering would escalate into World War III. I'd be popping all the popcorn.
During: I'd really be hoping for a fall of some sort. Just kidding, I only wish Kim the best on her wedding day.
After: Definitely hug it out.
...just kidding. Sorry, that might have been a little distasteful.