The 7 Stages of Watching 'The Wire' For the First Time
If you're "that person" in your group of friends who hasn't watched The Wire, then you're probably tired of having everyone telling you all of the reasons why you really should just watch The Wire, already (SERIOUSLY HOW HAVE YOU NOT WATCHED THE WIRE!?). Well, if you really want to strip yourself of that burden, now is your opportunity. HBO has remastered what is possibly the best drama in television history in HD and will be showing a marathon of the series starting Thursday, Sept. 4. All five seasons of the Baltimore-based crime drama will be aired starting at 8 p.m. on HBO Signature.
Now, we've all marathoned our favorite series before. We watched every Simpsons ever on FX with sheer delight and survived the summer draught of television with Netflix and Orange is the New Black by our sides. However, there is truly nothing quite like getting through The Wire for the first time. The structure! The careers it launched! The seedy realities of drug trade and bureacracy! OH HEAVENS THE MASTERFUL STORYTELLING! Try as you might to not give in to the "hype," it will exceed any and all expectations. Here's what it's like to watch all of The Wire for the very first time. Strap yourself in, you're in for a wild (and high-def) ride.
Stage One: Resistance
Everyone has told you it really is as good as they say. You have reluctantly given in and are finally ready to watch The Wire.
Stage Two: Annoyance
A pilot is usually never the best a series has to offer. You're watching, but you're not sold.
Stage Three: OK, You're Sold
Forget everything you said about not "getting it." You are hooked. That didn't take long, did it?
Stage Four: Bleary Eyes
You keep telling yourself "just one more episode" and before you know it, it's 3 a.m. and you are anxiously eating a can of peanuts.
Stage Five: Paranoia
You think every car behind you is following you. They are.
Stage Six: The Come Down
The series is coming to an end and you're trying to cope. It's not going well.
Stage Seven: Absorption
You preach the word of The Wire. "Seriously!? You haven't watched The Wire!?"
Congrats, you've come full circle.
Here's the trailer to get your heart racing: