Would Nick Kroll & Amy Poehler Be Dating If He Was Really Like 'The League's Ruxin?
There are some celebrity pairings that you could take or leave. But then every so often, a pair comes along that if they were to break up, would make you question the nature of love itself. One such couple is none other than comedy duo Nick Kroll and Amy Poehler, dating since last June. Poehler, star of NBC's Parks and Recreation (which will finish up its run in 2015), split from her other notable comedy beau, ex-husband Will Arnett in September 2012, with divorce papers making the whole thing official earlier this year.
Since then, Kroll and Poehler seem pretty inseparable, appearing on numerous red carpets and even vacationing together in Mexico, per some photos on the Daily Mail. The duo also make great collaborators and it's delightful to see them clash against each other onscreen in each other's shows. Memorable crossovers include every run-in between the righteous Leslie Knope and awful shock jock The Douche on Parks, or Poehler's turn as the vapid and pretty anti-semitic hook-up to Kroll's Rich Dick character on Kroll Show.
The two clearly make an adorable pair, but would things be as sunny if their coupling was more like Sophia and Ruxin from Kroll's The League? Here's a case study of my findings:
Terrific Lady Day
Even though Ruxin is a pretty big jerk who married a trophy wife he has little in common with just for the status, he's still fairly keen on keeping his wife happy. Or at least, happy enough to not question all of the ways he might be dropping the ball. Enter Terrific Lady Day, a magical time of year where you can stare at all of the flowers or heirloom tomatoes you want because it's YOUR DAY. Sort of like Parks and Rec's "Treat Yo Self" but with your partner footing the bill. Hopefully this is one the real life Poehler gets to cash in on occasionally.
Unfortunately, you can't pick your boo's family, and Bro-in-Law Raffi skeevs Ruxin out to no end. He's made several people and things in Ruxin's home "forever unclean," including wife Sofia with his inappropriate advances. Luckily, Poehler's brother is conquering television comedy in Sweden, so his real life Raffi counterpart doesn't seem like he'll be making things unclean anytime soon.
Outkicking His Coverage
Ruxin fully admits he is "outkicking is coverage" i.e. pulling in a partner totally out of his league, which is why he's both dickishly proud and constantly terrified his wife will realize and ditch him. Luckily, Poehler is a human jewel person, but the two seem pretty adequately matched, meaning he won't have to try to put one of Ruxin's abhorrent "anchor babies" in her anytime soon.
Corndog, Corndog, Corndog
Ruxin's love of corndogs are pretty endearing, and something Poehler wouldn't mind getting behind... I'm assuming.
The Bounce Test
Ruxin notoriously has to hide all porn or self-pleasure from his Catholic wife, leading him to various loopholes (where he proceeds with extreme caution since he's always afraid of losing her). Poehler, however is no prude; she has gone on record saying films need to show more women having casual sex and less waiting for "the one." With an attitude like that, we can imagine that Poehler is pretty in touch with a healthy concept of sexual expression for men and women, so it's probably safe to say she'd be less conservative and want her partner to let his freak flag fly.
The real Poehler/Kroll matchup is leagues ahead of Sofia/Ruxin's web of convenience, status, and casual lies. Viva Knope and The Douche!