Wanna Go To Hambo? 21 Things Only Ohio Wesleyan University Students Understand
Here at the beautiful Ohio Wesleyan University, students' favorite hobby is talking about how they wish they had time for a hobby. The small liberal arts campus, located in charming-but-sometimes-a-little-creepy Delaware, OH, is home to approximately 1,850 students — most of whom are involved in countless extracurricular activities. When students aren't busy studying one (or three) of the 93 majors the University provides, they're building orphanages in Haiti, photographing Cuba, studying Scandinavian healthcare, mentoring at-risk teens, or raising money for countless causes.
But while all of that looks wonderful on resume paper, OWU students also know how to have fun. During our downtime, we can be found playing Ultimate Frisbee, shooting pool at Clancey's, singing a capella in one of three campus groups, taking improv workshops with The Babbling Bishops, and brushing up on our sword-fighting with the Medieval Renaissance Recreational Combat Association.
It might sound like your garden variety small liberal arts school, but there are special things about the place that only students and alumni can truly understand. Here's how you know you are true OWU student.
you've had to explain our questionable mascot
"Well, they've thought about changing him into an owl," you'll mumble as your friends back home laugh at your college mascot. Let's be honest, there's something a little weird about having an angry clergyman as your mascot.
you've gotten irrationally excited for the SLUs' themed parties
You even thought about putting your stellar '90s party outfit you debuted at House of Thought on your resume.
...and you've Gotten down with your bad self during dances at the Cave
You know this is the perfect place to bust out those Shakira moves you've been working on. It's dimly lit, sweaty, and largely anonymous — at least until PS busts it and turns all the lights on.
you've Competed to live in a house that would literally crumble all around you
SLUs (themed on-campus houses) are the place to be. Live with a group of the most wonderful, intelligent people you've ever met who are interested in the same causes as you are and do awesome projects together — all while learning some questionable DIY home improvement skills. Who needs new pipes when you can just stop leaks with old socks?
you met your freshman year soulmate at the black light party
"He was covered in highlighter dicks and I was covered in highlighter dicks ... it was just meant to be."
you've been to Hambo drunk
Hamburger Inn, known as Hambo, is not a place you go: It's a place you end up. Open all night on the weekends, your drunk tears will be met by a waitress so nice you'll wish she was your own mother. Too bad you won't remember her name ... or what you ate ... or how you got there.
you've Eaten four meals on campus during Parent or Alumni days...
"Oh yes, filet mignon Thursdays are a regular staple here." Not. Seize the only 10 days a year you won't find dead flies in the fruit salad at HamWil.
...and you've begged for food points during finals week
"I'll take you to Chipotle like three times next semester, I promise!"
you've Visited the Counseling Department just for the massage chairs
You don't have a free hour for therapy, but you do have 15 minutes before your afternoon lab for one of these babies.
you know that trying not to break both your legs on your way to class each winter is an epic challenge
Considering class only gets canceled for Level Three snow emergencies (otherwise known as when hell freezes over), you'd better leave an hour early so you can crawl to Marketing.
you've felt like a Hogwarts student in Slocum library
Except with more graffiti and less ghosts.
you've dealt with judgmental Thomson Store cashiers
Before you turn 21: Yes, I AM buying seven bottles of lemonade for myself on a Friday night because, um, I like the taste. Don't look at me.
After you turn 21: You think this will go well with gas station vodka?
you tend to Avoid townies
There's no feeling quite like being cat-called by a man with no teeth and a hand-painted confederate flag on his pickup truck.
you've Acted like an over-caffeinated child during Day on the Jay, because you are one
INFLATABLE JOUSTING YOU GUYS.
you've gone to unusual lengths just to locate Dan's Deli on the weekends
By senior year, you can smell the grease from a mile away.
you've cringed at sorority recruitment season ... even when you're IN a sorority
Must we, with the clapping and matching t-shirts. Again?
you've tried (and failed) to navigate OrgSync
"I just want to throw a pizza party for Campus Girl Scouts. What do all of these buttons even mean?"
you've been peer-pressured into some kind of performance art piece
Of course you care about fracking, but is this really necessary?
most of all, you know you're going to treasure your college years for the rest of your life
Because we are one weirdly-awesome group of people
O-What? O-WU! Oh Yeah!
Images:Phillip M Kukelhan