Martin Lawrence Was Spotted on a Date!

Attention. This is not a drill. Stop everything you're doing because we have SPECULATIVE DETAILS about the date that Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin were reportedly on. Ooh! A date. I wonder if they spoon-fed not-organic pasta to each other, as couples who are enamored with one another do, according to my rom-com fueled imagination. (Martin must be so relieved to no longer have to soak his almonds.)

People says that they were seen at the Beverly Hills restaurant La Dolce Vita, which has four stars on Yelp, so that probably means that it's classy and phenomenal with an occasionally lukewarm duck confit, or whatever celebrities eat. It also could mean that there's one crabby Yelp reviewer who's like, "I had a stick shoved quite far up my ass, which made it impossible to eat good food." There's always one of those guys on Yelp.

The menu is the antithesis of a Goop diet plan (not that there's anything wrong with that) in that it doesn't have kale or air infusions, and also in that it features arancini, which are fancy fried rice balls and a dish far too Beverly Hills for my plebeian hummus-fed mind to comprehend. However, the menu does contain a crispy risotto with buffalo mozzarella and FRIED SAGE, so you know between the cheese and fried balls of rice, that J. Law would dig this place. Do you think Goop is rolling on her yoga mat somewhere, worried that Apple and Moses will absorb the fried sage from their dad's hot arancini breath?

So, yes: Martin Lawrence are going on dates that would make How About We's clientele shiver with jealousy because obviously, Martin and J. Law are way better at coming up with dates than the average person is. (How about we...go on a date in a vineyard?! How about we... eat expensive food together because we are celebrities?!) OH, to be young and middle aged and on the brink of romance. And eating fried sage.