The 5 Most Annoying Things About Having Big Feet, Including Horrible "One Size Fits All" Slippers
When I entered junior high, I suddenly found myself rocking a size 10 in shoes. The boys in my summer tennis camp could not help but mock the hell out of me. I longed for my height to catch up to my oversized feet. Would I round out at 5'10", with a respectable, elegant stature that would have me on the runway by age 16? Would I grow to a healthy 6'2" and finally get the coordination to be a professional basketball player? My new feet gave me a slew of insecurities, for a 13-year-old it seemed like one of the worst things that could happen to me — and the fact that I constantly tripped over myself was no help whatsoever.
As it would turn out, I stopped growing at 5'5". Perhaps the amount of coffee I drank at my first job at Dunkin Donuts was what capped me off at an average height... not that I would ever completely blame my favorite New England staple for my woes. My feet, however, remained an annoying size 10 and I still to this day find shoe-shopping one of the worst tasks to go through. I'd rather go to the dentist than try to hunt down a pair of boots that will fit my large feet and skinny calves while all the size 7s out there slip their adorable tiny feet into the hottest styles for back-to-school.
Having large feet is certainly not the worst fashion woe you could deal with. Let me tell you one thing though, you never know the pain of having big feet until you spend a day in a pal's big pair of shoes. Here, the five biggest struggles of having about-average-size tootsies.
1. Giving Up Your Vintage Dream Boots to Your Size 7 Best Friend
Hey guys! Guess what? Apparently no one wore a size larger than an 8 before the '90s! Either that or all the size 10 and above women have refused to ever give up their shoes. As someone who thrifts constantly, I can't tell you how many times I have seen the perfect pair of vintage boots only to flip over the size and see that they're way too small for me. After I verify that my feet are humungous, I reluctantly call my size 8 bestie over to try on my dream boots. I only own two pairs of vintage shoes. They are both a size too small and I never wear either.
2. You've found your size, but the width is all types of wrong
What's this? A pair of motorcycle boots in my size? Yusssss! The only problem is that when shoes go up in length they also go up in width. Which means if you have the legs of a spider, like myself, you will never find a large pair of boots that will fit both your feet and your calves. It's gotten to the point where I don't even bother because I end up throwing serious 'tude at the sales associate. As if she had anything to do with the design of these boots that don't fit.
3. One Size Fits All Slippers
LIES. These slippers do not fit my feet and they are basically just a size 8 disguised as a one size fits all. Don't even get me started on small, medium, and large slippers because I don't know who wears a size 20 in shoes. Don't mock us big footed women, we are hip to your game. Make all the sizes and don't cheap out and give us small, medium, and XXL.
4. Sharing Shoes with Your Friends
There is nothing I love more than perusing my friend's closet for free clothes. If only that worked with shoes. One of my friends is almost six feet tall, so you can imagine my excitement when she came over to get dressed for an event we were both attending. I peered into a bag of shoes in excitement... only to find that she only wears a size 8. Sigh. What kind of injustice is this?! I demanded to know why her feet were so small and she, of course, demanded to know why my feet were so big. And I wore my own shoes to the party.
5. Shopping for A Black Tie Event
I secretly love black tie events: There are at least a dozen ridiculously fancy dresses I own for that one time a year, a birthday, holiday, or staff party turns into a fancy affair. The only thing is that I almost never have shoes to wear to the event which means I almost always look like the black Courtney Love in a pair of scuffed black boots. Formal shoes are pricey in general and if you are rockin' one of the larger sizes they are definitely not plentiful. Most stores buy limited amounts of the larger sizes, which go quickly and leave us gals with big feet in a pinch or spending too much on a pair of fancy shoes we're only going to wear once.
Image: Lotus Carroll / Flickr; Chinese Laundry; Giphy