Grapefruit Blow Jobs and 14 Other Sex Acts That Deserve A Holiday All Their Own

It was just brought to my attention that there is, in this glorious amalgam of united states, a high holy day dedicated to a form of cunnilingus. It's called National Sit On My Face Day, and it went down (tee hee) just this Friday. So, merry, merry, American babes! I hope you all celebrated accordingly.  

Now, I'm an egalitarian haver-of-sex. And, as much as I enjoy somewhat asphyxiating woman-on-top oral, there are many other sex acts I enjoy equally, if not more. And I find them to be worthy if national celebration, as well. 

Without further ado, here's my list of 15 sex acts that deserve a national holiday all their own. So, like, contact your state representatives? How do holidays even get made, anyway?

1. National Grapefruit Blowjob Day


A Bustle favorite! We are très up on our vitamin C intake, thankyouverymuch.

2. National Let's Briefly Pretend Our Relationship Is 50 Shades of Grey Day

Like you weren't doing this already.

3. National Vaguely Consider Letting A Dude Give You A Facial Day

Not that kind...

4. National Ice Cubes Everywhere Day

I tried this and wrote about it, if you need some ideas.

5. National Do ALL Of The Cosmo Tips Day

For overachievers. 

6. National Should You Maybe Pull Out Because I Forgot To Take My Birth Control For Like Three Days Day


Like sorry I'm not an elephant, I FORGET.

7. National My Roommate's Asleep In This Very Room But Why The Hell Not Day

Or, as we knew it in college, National Almost Every Night Day!

8. National Literally Two Hours of Oral Day


Not sure if women or men have it worse, TBH.

9. National Angrily Masturbate In The Office Bathroom Day

This... This was my friend's contribution, but like, I don't know, I can see it being a thing.

10. National Oh Shit That's My Ex-Boyfriend's Name Not Yours Day

Which is why I call everyone "babe."

11. National So, Like, The Dog Just Walked In But Do We Keep Going Or What? Day

Answer: We do. Sorry, dog. 

12. National Being Asked "Have You Come Yet?" 46 Times In One Day And Having To Say No Each Time Day


I NEVER SIGNED UP FOR THIS LEVEL OF HONESTY. 

13. National "Well, OK, You're Not The BIGGEST I've Ever Had, But You're The BEST, I Swear" Day

Why would you ever even ask me this?

14. National Whiskey Dick Day

Because fellas deserve to be let off the hook every now and again. 

15. National Cite A Headache Day

IT'S BEEN A LONG WEEK, ALL RIGHT?

Images: Anthony Easton/Flickr (main), Tumblr (1-4, 6-15), Quick Meme (5)

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