19 Things All Funny Women Go Through, and No, Not Getting Laid Is Not One Of Them
Hey, have you heard the one about the girl who was funny? Apparently, some people still haven't. There's a seemingly endless stream of articles and studies clogging the Internet that take funny women as their subject, as if we were some kind of very exotic and rare fish found only at the bottom of the sea. See, women aren’t funny! Wait, no, they’re funny, but men don’t like it! Wait, no, women aren’t funny, but it’s our own damn fault!
Sometimes, it can feel like being a funny lady is like having two jobs — in addition to feeling responsible for making the joke that lightens up a work meeting, or coming up with the quip that gets your just-dumped friend smiling again, or pointing out all the things at your school that totally look like penises, you’re also supposed to do a second shift of work commenting on all those funny women-deniers.
Of course, there’s a lot more to being a funny lady than just defending the fact that funny ladies exist. Life as a funny woman is a rich cornucopia of hanging out with your equally-funny lady pals, possibly watching a lot of Beavis and Butthead reruns in your underpants, and, you know, actually being funny. And okay, some of it is about fighting back against idiots who think women can’t be funny. But only because there are some great jokes to be made about them.
So let's all take a moment to reflect on the struggles, triumphs, and lifetime's worth of booger jokes that comprise the existence of the funny lady.
As a kid, your sense of humor got you pegged as a tomboy
Even if you had more of a propensity for tutus than toy trucks. Even at that age, people were trying to tell you that a healthy appreciation for a booger joke was somehow masculine.
And there was probably a time in elementary school when you had mostly male friends
This lined up with the time when the girls in your grade decided that "mature," meant "pretending that booger jokes are not funny."
sometimes, guys would tell you, "you’re so funny, you're like another dude”
This was their way of blowing you off romantically. What it really meant was: “I am insecure and afraid of you.” You were and are better off without them.
You might have even had a phase where you tried to suppress being funny
Someone convinced you that being funny was unsophisticated or weird, and you thought maybe you could just ignore it, and develop a different defining quality — like being really good at track, or learning how to do a flawless Dougie.
...but That phase only lasted 10 minutes, thank God
But what a terrifying ten minutes they were! All those snarky comebacks you swallowed! All the chalkboard diagrams you could have drawn a penis on, but didn't!
when you got older, you were finally able to own and love being funny
The loveless, sexless future existence that you feared didn't materialize. (Or if it did, it's great material.)
and Contrary to popular belief, you have no problem getting laid
And find that none of the actually worthwhile sexual partners out there are intimidated by you. In fact, they find your humor damn fine.
Though you have had a shocking number of online dates call you “a total Daria”
Thank you, but I think of myself more as a "Darlene" from Roseanne/ Maya Rudolph hybrid. There's more than one genre of funny lady, you know!
You have some well-meaning friends who say that you "scare" partners off with your jokes
But who would want to date someone who's afraid of the occasional moment of ribald booger talk?
and you still run into doofuses who don't get it from time to time
You know, the people who tell you that you’re “really funny for a girl”
Or, “the only funny girl they know." Or, god forbid, that you’re “funny like a guy.”
Or dudes who think that being funny means that you’ll tolerate any offensive shit they have to say
Which, coincidentally, is almost NEVER actually funny.
You're tired of idiots who think being mean is the same as being funny
And especially unfunny dudes who are hellbent on trying to trick you into somehow revealing that you're not actually that funny. What do they think, you hired Sarah Silverman to feed you jokes through a Bluetooth?
when yet another person asks you what you think about people who say that "women aren’t funny":
Let me just lie on the floor while I answer this: You think that they're dumbasses, that's what you think. What else would you possibly think? "Oh, they have a pretty good point, never considered that one before! Guess I'll just shut up, and go work on becoming barefoot and pregnant."
Finding a crew of funny women has been the highlight of your adult life
After a lifetime of being “the funny girl” at school, you’re finally just part another part of a big, funny crew. It's freeing, exciting, and makes your brunches way more fun than everyone else's.
And you feel blessed to live in an era full of funny women on TV
Maybe little girls today, who come of age watching Tina Fey and Mindy Kaling and Kristen Wiig on their TVs, will get to live in a world where no one thinks being a woman with a great sense of humor is "masculine."
Because this certainly isn't "just a phase"
And as for the people who still think women aren't funny?
well, they're just a punchline waiting to happen.
Images: Giphy (20)