With pumpkin spiced-flavored everything hitting grocery store shelves and restaurant menus left and right this fall, it’s no surprise that the item that represents the epitome of this gustatory trend has been one of the season’s most hotly debated topics. I am speaking, of course, of the Pumpkin Spice Latte. But although much has been written about the overall pumpkin spice experience, including its chemical makeup, very little research exists about the more ephemeral qualities of the beverage. Therefore, in an attempt to determine the “ingredients” that make up the Pumpkin Spice Latte, Bustle conducted an incredibly scientific (read: not scientific at all) experiment aimed at carefully separating out each and every element. This, in turn, allowed us to thoroughly examine them on an individual basis — and as you will see, the whole turned out to be much greater than the sum of its parts.
Curiously, we discovered in the course of our research that one of the primary elements of the Pumpkin Spice Latte is another hotly debated topic: The Basic Bitch. To be precise, the Pumpkin Spice Latte contains 25 percent Basic Bitch. Previous studies have revealed that the Pumpkin Spice Latte itself also appears as an ingredient in the genetic makeup of the Basic Bitch. Further research might explore this curious phenomenon; but for now, allow us to present our initial findings in an, ahem, easy-to-digest (see what we did there?) pie chart: