Please Don't Let Bamon Be a Real Thing

Back in May, Julie Plec did the most boldly devastating thing one could ever do to The Vampire Diaries fan base: she killed off the hottest and most beloved vampire in the series. The Vampire Diaries' Damon Salvatore is dead. Well, technically he's been "dead" for a while now on account of his whole vampire-ness, but now he really appears to be dead. Like dead dead. The deadliest deadest you can get, basically. Of course, thanks to the bevy of TVD Season 6 spoilers and interviews intercepted throughout the summer, we know that's not exactly the case. Both Damon and Bonnie will, indeed, return to the small screen for Thursday's TVD Season 6 premiere "I'll Remember," though it doesn't sound like they'll be reuniting with their Mystic Falls counterparts anytime soon. (*Sad face*)

Naturally, this has spawned several predictions regarding Damon and Bonnie's relationship status, leaving many fans wondering (er, dreading) if an actual romance will eventually bloom. Plec has even hinted at the possibility of a Bamon 'shipping pair, which — when coupled with the fact that they share some romantic encounters in the L.J. Smith book series — makes a hookup seem not only possible, but highly probable. And speaking on behalf of TVD fans everywhere, let me just be the millionth person to say HELL NO.

I'm sorry, but this would be the absolute worst story arc in the history of all story arcs. I love Damon. I tolerate Bonnie. But putting the two of them together would result in a disastrous chain reaction that would screw up a ton of other relationship dynamics. Observe…

Delena Would Be Ruined

Let's face it — the main goal on everyone's mind this season is going to be seeing Damon and Elena reunite. You know it. I know it. That's just the way life goes. So having Damon and Bonnie share some weird oblivion hookup would completely tarnish all that we're trying to accomplish. There's no way they'd be able to keep a secret like that from Elena if/when they return home. And there's definitely no way Elena would be cool with them having a fling, afterlife or no afterlife. We'd be forced to kiss any thought of a potential reconciliation goodbye, right before ugly crying into our pillows.

Jeremy Would Be Heartbroken

This guy has been through so much and died so many times, I'm not sure he could handle learning that his girlfriend hooked up with his sister's boyfriend. There aren't enough push-ups in the world to ease that kind of emotional suffering. Just the thought of seeing this guy cry makes me want to burst into tears. Let's just not, TVD. Let's just not.

Elena & Bonnie's Friendship Would Be Dunzo

No friendship would be able to make it through a betrayal of this magnitude. The idea of Steroline happening is one thing, and relatively acceptable given that Elena is no longer in love with Stefan. But to hook up with the love of your best friend's life? That's pretty harsh and something I doubt fans or Elena would be able to forgive Bonnie for.

Damon & Stefan's Brotherly Bromance Would Be at Risk

Being the decent guy that he is, Stefan would totally have Elena's back on this one and be downright furious with his brother for hurting her so badly. He trusted Damon to never hurt Elena, so him doing so is sure to cause a huge rift in their brotherly bond — a thought that's almost as tragic as this potential Bamon romance. Almost.

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