Well, here's something that The Vampire Diaries hasn't done before — a vampire with a crippling drug problem. And no, Damon and Alaric's obvious drinking problem in Season 3 doesn't count. On Thursday night, The Vampire Diaries Season 6 premiere gave Elena Gilbert an extreme, witchy herb drug problem, but went all after school-special on us so we had to struggle to take it seriously. Which is really unfair because Elena's grief over Damon's death isn't a joke and I actually want to feel sad about it. I mean, I really miss Damon Salvatore, too. Why do you have to make everything so hard for me, Julie Plec?
Tuesday night's premiere ran through all of the typical moments you'd expect to see in an after school special about the dangers of drug addiction — all the way down to Elena throwing epic shade at everyone in an attempt to make her issue not seem so bad. Yes, TVD went there and yes, it was totally uncomfortable and kind of made you want to laugh. Unfortunately. The four-month time-jump clearly did nothing to soften the blow of Damon's death for Elena, because there's a Damon-shaped hole where her heart used to be. And she's figured out how to fill it — by becoming a stereotypical, first-time drug addict.
So, where do we begin?
Well, in typical TV drug-addict fashion, Elena's emotionally blackmailing Luke into supplying her with herbs that seem to be a combination of mushrooms and marijuana because it's his fault that Damon didn't come back, after all.
She's Lost Control
Elena's totally lost control of what she's been up to — as a result of four months of living in a drug-induced hallucination with the Damon her mind has conjured up and she's killing people. With the use of these herbs comes, apparently, an insatiable thirst for blood (thus my comparison to marijuana), and Elena can't stop feeding on people once she starts. Oy.
She's Diverting Attention
When Caroline tries to hold a mini-intervention after she catches her friend feeding on a girl on the side of the road in broad daylight. And what did Elena do? She basically just called out everyone and tried to make it seem like her problem isn't that bad. Elena bitched about Caroline lurking around Mystic Falls, Stefan running away, and Jeremy and Matt remaining locked inside the no-magic zone. Sorry, girl, you can lie to yourself but you can't lie to us.
Her Hallucination Turned On Her
When Elena tried to quit, her Damon hallucination turned on her and asked her why she'd ever want to quit what they had together. And it basically sounded a lot like one of those tobacco commercials we're constantly seeing on TV. She tried to let go and her addiction turned on her, like we've never heard that story before.
She Tried To Quit, But Her Damon Was Too Strong
I really want to believe that Elena wanted to let go of her fake Damon so she could, I don't know, try to help the real one now that ungrateful Stefan has apparently "given up" on finding a solution to the problem. But it just didn't work — hallucination Damon was just too strong and even after Elena trashed the tomb, he was still standing right beside her.
So, is there a vampire rehab? Because that's Elena's next stop, right? By the way, stay away from witch-herbs, kids.
Image: Guy D'Alema/The CW, Giphy (3)