I often wonder what people did back in the dark days before the internet, and before viral videos, when they were supposed to be doing something productive. The conclusion I always draw: They just were productive, I guess? Viral videos are simultaneously one of the best and worst things to happen to the modern generation. On one hand, they provide excellent comedic breaks, or shock and awe to an otherwise mundane day spent staring at a computer screen. Other times, they make you want to throw up onto your computer screen because they're just awful examples of the way we live – and waste – our lives entirely online now. They can also be downright annoying. At their best, viral videos can be enlightening, inspiring, and uplifting (or at least just harmlessly amusing.) But at their worst, they are the vehicles by which idiots disseminate their idiocy (see: dude bro videos, below.)
Maybe I'm just being miserly though; the reason viral videos are viral is because so many people like and share them. But then there's always the "loving to hate" aspect of sharing, because as The Offspring so sagely said, "It's cool to hate, yeah, yeah, yeah." From the inappropriately overly personal intimacies that are shared in viral videos to the supreme jackassery, here are the most terrible types of viral videos out there (hint: never share one of these with me unless you want an O.C.-worthy side eye.)
1. Engagements and weddings
"Hey, you know what would make best day of our lives even better? If we choreographed it, filmed it, and uploaded it to the Internet so we could go viral!" said absolutely no normal person ever. IS NOTHING SACRED ANYMORE?
2. People reacting to things
I mean, I get it. The Red Wedding was wild. That doesn't change the fact that the only reaction to anything that's worth watching is Harrison Ford freaking out about David Blaine doing magic.
3. Army parents reuniting with their children
It's heartbreaking and tear-jerking to watch a small child reunited with a parent who's been away doing army service. But do such intensely emotional, personal moments need to be broadcast on the Internet?
4. Anything done by dude bros
Why do we give these morons credence? WHY DO THEY HAVE TENS OF THOUSANDS OF VIEWS SIMPLY FOR ACTING LIKE ASSHOLES?
5. Large groups of musicians doing twee covers of pop songs
Any large acapella group or zanily instrumented band of 12 people doing song covers is probably my least favorite thing in the world. They're not cute, they're just annoying. They're the Internet's version of the NYC subway's "Show Time".