Taco Bell certainly doesn’t slack off in the R&D department; the fast-food chain is currently testing out yet another set of new and exciting menu options, and believe you me, I’m way more excited about them than I ever was for the Waffle Taco. Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to meet the Taco Bell Sriracha menu. You heard me: Taco Bell Sriracha menu. Clearly, the Spicy Food Deities have witnessed our devotion and chosen to smile upon us. How else do we explain this glorious event?
The news first seems to have arrived via Reddit; redditor LurkLurkleton (who, I would imagine, does a great deal of lurking in his or her spare time) posted a thread in the Taco Bell subreddit simply titled “Sriracha menu?” last week. “I went to my local Taco Bell to try a Starbust Freeze and I noticed in addition to their new breakfast items they’re also offering a new Sriracha menu,” wrote our buddy Lurk. “Anyone else getting this? I couldn’t find anything about it on Google.” In answer to Lurk’s question: No, not everyone is getting it; Thrillist did a little digging, and apparently it’s only available in the Kansas City metro area. Kansas City folk? You do realize what this means, right? You absolutely must drag yourself to your nearest Taco Bell and give the whole thing a try. Then you have to tell us all about it, because, much like a tree falling in a forest, if a person tries Taco Bell’s Sriracha menu and no one is around to see it, it doesn’t make a sound. Or perhaps more accurately: Pics or it didn't happen.
Thank you, Stefon. Nice to see you again, by the way; we missed you.
Anyway, according to Thrillist, the menu items include Sriracha Nachos Supreme, a Sriracha Quesarita, a breakfast Sriracha Scrambler Burrito, a Sriracha Loaded Griller, and (of course) a Sriracha Taco. LurkLurkleton tried the breakfast burrito, which s/he notes, “was OK. They seem to be using a ‘sriracha crème’ sauce, which has familiar flavor but not as much heat.” Taco Bell will also top any of their regular menu items with Sriracha on request, so go nuts, rooster sauce fans.
Not everyone is as over the proverbial moon about the idea as I am, however; Jezebel’s Julianne Escobedo Shepherd, for example, is downright anti-Sriracha Taco Bell:
“FOR ONE, Sriracha's taste is very distinct and overpowering, and the whole point of salsa in Mexican cuisine is to enhance the natural flavors of whatever the hell you're eating, like SPICES. You don't even need that much, just get some tomatoes, roasted chili pepper seeds, a little salt, mash that shit in a molcajete and you're straight. Sriracha on a taco is just going to drown the subtle flavor of the meat and/or vegetables, without actually being all that spicy to begin with.”
She does conclude, though, “Then again, it’s Taco Bell so maybe that’s the point.” To which I say: Exactly. If I want actual tacos or enchiladas, I’ll go to the awesome hole-in-the-wall place that’s 25 minutes away from my apartment, but always totally worth the trip. If I want something fast that’s relatively palatable, I’ll go to Taco Bell. And as far as I’m concerned, Sriracha can only make Taco Bell better (because let’s face it: It’s Taco Bell).
Alas, though, I don’t live anywhere near Kansas City, so in the meantime, I’ll have to satisfy my spiciness cravings with, oh, I don’t know, one of these super spicy recipes instead. Sriracha honey lime chicken? Yes, please!