This week, the "Drunk J. Crew" Tumblr entered our lives and made the universe infinitely better. Jen Ellison, the writer/director who created the blog, knew just what we were thinking: those J. Crew catalogue models are all too effortless-looking to not be drunk. Now, as you grapple with the chore of expanding your chilly-season wardrobes, you can turn to Drunk J. Crew for fall fashion tips to keep you sane throughout the laborious process of shopping for sweaters.
The first order of business is finding yourself a designated driver. Second order of business: drink 4 mimosas. Third directive: proceed to your local J Crew and unleash your newfound tipsy styling creativity upon the meticulously merchandised inventory. Are those sequin shorts a prudent addition to your wardrobe? Of course they are! Can you wear them with an oversized fluffy sweater and a shrunken jacket to your office job? Hell yes you can!
With this model of Fall shopping, the world transforms into an offbeat sportswear editorial where you always look chic. You couldn't be more put together, even if you left the party with the coat you arrived in. Here are some tips for being as stylish as possible for Fall, brought to you by the models of Drunk J. Crew.
Layer 'til you can't layer anymore
This is how you wear clothes, right??
Accessorize with found objects
Sunglasses will spice up your outfit, so a pair lying around and jack it.
Turtlenecks can be ponytail holders, too
My hair's a bob now, and I didn't even need to cut it.
Experiment with oversized pieces
They're just like pajamas, so you can easily fall asleep drunk in them.
Don't bother using your sleeves
I tried to figure out how they worked, and my coat ended up backwards on my body.
Now that you know the drill, sally forth and tackle your Fall shopping with the gusto! Or, you know, have a slice of pizza and take a nap by the toilet.
Image: J. Crew