The countdown clock to when Taylor Swift's new album 1989 will be released on iTunes is very close to running out. The album drops on Monday, October 27 and feverish fans like myself could not be more excited. But some of those feverish fans are excited from sheer experience with the music. After all, Swift threw 1989 secret listening parties at her house for ultra lucky select fans and after seeing the behind-the-scenes video of what went on there, I am crazy jealous. But my time is coming. My time is basically almost here. I'm so close to having 1989 released to my iTunes that I can almost hear it now.
However, since we do still have a few days left before we can listen to what could be Swift's best album yet, it wouldn't be a bad idea for us to prepare ourselves for it. Who says we have to miss out on a listening party just because she didn't invite us to one? It just seems like a good enough reason to throw one of our own, doesn't it? Sure, Swift might not actually be present at your party, but there are plenty of other ways you can replicate the 1989 Secret Sessions down to the letter. Just follow these seven easy steps.
Step One: Buy an apron and a Polaroid camera.
The two most important things for throwing your own 1989 listening party is possession of an apron and a Polaroid camera. The apron you will need for step two and the Polaroid camera you will need for step six. Unless you don't have any baking supplies or any friends, in which case you need to acquire both to follow the rest of the instructions on this list.
Step Two: Bake enough cookies for a small army.
To prepare for the release of 1989 on iTunes, you need to spend your entire day baking cookies. Not just some cookies. Not just a lot of cookies. You need enough cookies to feed a small army, should one decide to come and kick it with you at your house. You need to bake so many cookies that your whole block smells like them. A cute apron is a must.
Step Three: Invite some friends and friends of friends.
It's not a party without guests. Text all your friends and tell them to text all of their friends to come over to your house on the day of 1989's release. Tell them to invite everyone they know and everyone they kind of know. Tell them to invite the Starbucks barista who always remembers their order. But don't invite that guy from the gas station. He seems kind of creepy.
Step Four: But don't tell them why they're at your house.
Once you have everyone assembled at your house, it's very important that they have no idea why they're at your house. I'm sure they assumed it was some kind of party and many of them probably brought their own beer, but no one knows what kind of party it is. And you're not playing any music. And some of them are wondering if they should leave. (Don't let them leave.)
Step Five: Surprise them with the album.
As soon as 1989 drops on iTunes, blast it through your speakers. Blast it so loudly that no one can hear themselves think over the sounds of "Welcome to New York". Burst into the room in your highest high heels and start dancing up a storm. The album has been released. The party can begin. Welcome to the Taylor Swift experience. Have a cookie.
Step Six: Take selfies with everyone.
This is what the Polaroid camera was for. Yes, I know, you probably want to take the kind of selfies that you can upload right to Facebook or Instagram without having to take the picture and then take a picture of the picture to do so. But, come on. It's 1989. Digital cameras aren't a thing for this concept album.
Step Seven: Play with cats.
You'd better have cats. I didn't think I needed to tell you that to throw an accurate Swift party then you need to have cats. Did I need to tell you that? Well, time to go and get some cats. Once you've done that, your 1989 listening party is truly complete.