This Lindsay Lohan Rumor Is the Craziest Of All

Remember back in the day when Lindsay Lohan tried to be a pop star, and she released that song "Rumors," with lyrics like, "I'm tired of rumors starting/ I'm sick of being followed/ I'm tired of people lying/ saying what they want about me"? Right. Well, I don't think it was until today that I really understood what she meant in that song, because this new rumor about her dating life is just straight up CRAY. (All caps, italics, that's how you know it's serious.) According to a report in OK! Magazine, Lindsay Lohan and Tom Cruise are rumored to be dating after she was "seen" bumping into "Tom Cruise" and "exchanging numbers" with him after her debut on London's West End in Speed the Plow .

Apparently, a source spilled the probably fictionalized beans to OK! about the relationship: "Lindsay has been craving the security and sophistication that comes with dating an older man, so she couldn’t believe her luck when she ran into her old crush [in London]...she’s head over heels." Also, apparently Cruise thinks "Lindsay can definitely help him relax and have more fun."

Right. Honestly, this rumor is just too ridiculous to even weigh different possibilities. Yes, Cruise was in London around the time of Lohan's Speed the Plow debut because he's currently shooting Mission Impossible 5 , and he has frequented the same establishments that Lohan does — but, considering Lohan frequents establishments like the Chiltern Firehouse, which is popular with literally every celebrity in London, so do a lot of other actors as well. Even Lohan herself denied dating Cruise, so I'm really doubtful of this report's validity.

Honestly, I just shared this report so we'd all have an excuse to listen to "Rumors" again.

Such a masterpiece.