Talking is the name of the game during a first date. You need to have strong conversational skills to get to date number two. Unfortunately, not all of us are blessed in the conversation department. Sometimes we say things we wish we could take back.
If you've ever been really amped up to spend time with someone who had a lot of potential, only to get too comfortable, too soon and scare this person away with too much personal information, or maybe just don't know why you can't get to date number two, perhaps you need to rethink the conversation topics you take on over a first date.
Here is a friendly reminder of the things we should probably steer clear of while getting our chit-chat on during a first date.
Nobody wants to be on a first date listening to a person talk about their last date. It’s fine to discuss the basics of previous relationships and a general history of your dating past. But keep it vague, people. Talking about how “Lily never did this” and how “Lily always did that” isn’t a story your new date wants to hear. Leave your ex talk for a night with the ladies and a big glass of wine.
Me, Myself, and I
It’s important to talk about yourself on a first date, letting your date know who you are and what you’re all about. It’s also important that you let your date talk about himself or herself too. First dates are like ping pong matches, where the conversation goes back and forth. Make sure it’s not like soccer, where you just run with the ball.
Save that drama for your mama! Talking about your family history is a good thing on date number one. However, your date doesn’t need to hear that your Uncle Jim isn’t speaking to your mom because of that big blowout at Christmas. Save these not-so-precious family moments for another (and much later) date.
You always want to be safe when it comes to sex. This includes making sure this is a comfortable topic to bring up. Unless you want to scare off your date, talking about sexual preferences should most likely be saved for a later time. Your date is probably fully aware that you have sex and you eventually want to have sex with him or her. He or she doesn’t want to know that doggy style is your favorite just yet, though. Seal those lips on this subject.
“Mo money, mo problems.” Also, mo money talk, mo problems. Some people have it and some people don’t. But one thing is for sure, talking about money only makes people uncomfortable. Anything money related should not be coming out of your mouth, only your wallet.
Too Much, Too Soon
It’s all right to discuss what you want in terms of the future. Saying you would like to get married someday or you are hoping to have children years down the road is completely fine. Laying it out for the other person isn’t the problem. The problem is when you come on too strong. This is where you start talking about these things in extreme detail.
When you start telling your date all the five names you have picked out for your children, you have spoken too soon. Your date isn’t interested in knowing your wedding color choices or your bridesmaid’s dresses. Save this stuff for your Pinterest boards, not your first date.
Nobody likes a negative Nancy — not even Nancy herself. Make sure you aren’t complaining too much and making pessimistic remarks. Your date is going to wonder what you’re like at your worst, if this is your best. People aren’t interested in having wine with some whining.
The “We” Person
Have you ever come across a “we” guy or girl on a first date? It makes you want to run for the hills. The “we” person is the man or woman who uses “we” constantly. “We should go there next.” “We should have 3 children.” “We should do this, we should do that….” This can be a little freaky because you two just met. Hold your horses and hold on to those “we” statements.
Low Self-Esteem Remarks
On a first date, you’re trying to put your best foot forward — not your worst foot. We’ve all got something we don’t love about ourselves. However, you don’t want to put this on display for your date to see. There’s nothing sexier than confidence. So make sure you aren’t ruining your own game with some not-so-confident remarks about yourself.