Today in totally bizarre Miley Cyrus news, it's been revealed that the pop star has curated a line of fake hillbilly teeth for the fabulously upscale e-commerce site BillyBobProducts.com. The "Miley Bobs" even come with a card to prove the mouth pieces are Miley-endorsed. All together now: what?
Just when I thought that nothing Miley Cyrus did could surprise me anymore, this happens. I mean, she makes it pretty obvious on her Instagram that she's into these redneck teeth, but I didn't realize she had specific preferences. Apparently, when you order the teeth it's like signing up for a hick-tastic surprise: you'll receive a set that's been pulled from an assortment of Miley's favorite designs. Seriously, these teeth have designs?
What's more: They're completely sold out. Big fat bummer. Guess I'll never get to take part in this absolutely absurd and somewhat disturbing "trend." Just as well, though. I endured spacers, braces, and retainers for my pearly whites, and I brush and floss my teeth with religious commitment. I am not about to cover them up with these nasty bad boys. Funny enough, I'm pretty sure Miley's has some extensive dental work done as well. So I'm left asking myself, yet again, why?