A Nutella Jar That Literally Has Your Name On It

Well, Nutella lovers of the world, I’ve got some good news for you and some bad news. You probably want the good news — which, by the way, might well be life-changing — first, so here you go: Personalized Nutella jars actually exist in this world. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that they are quite possibly the greatest thing to have happened to chocolate and hazelnuts since Pietro Ferrero first got the idea to blend them together. I mean, screw the whole “Share a Coke With” thing Coca-Cola has been doing lately — I want a jar of Nutella that literally has my name on it. It really doesn’t get much better than that, does it?

But remember that bad news? I kind of hate to have gotten your hopes up, but…they’re not exactly easy to obtain. Or obtainable at all right now, if you’re not based in the U.K. Sorry. I’m so sorry.

Here’s the deal: According to Elite Daily, U.K. retailer Selfridges is selling jars of the beloved chocolate hazelnut spread personalized with the name of your very favorite Nutella lover this holiday season. The names take the place of the word nutella on each label; they’re also styled in the same way, with the letters all lowercase and the first letter of the name in red. Unfortunately, though, you have to visit the Foodhall in an actual Selfridges location to get your jar; according to the department store itself, they’re not available online. Soooooo…yeah. Bad luck if you don’t live near London, Birmingham, or Manchester, since those are the only places the stores exist. If you do live across the pond, though, by all means, give them a call or stop by in person — those of us elsewhere would love to live vicariously through you.

Even if most of us are unable to partake in the joy of a personalized jar of Nutella, though, that doesn’t mean we can’t dream about it — or about other far-fetched types of personalization. Here’s a list of other unlikely things I’d love to have my name on. Got any to add?

1. An Ice Cream Truck

Who doesn’t want their very own personalized ice cream truck?

2. My Next Starbucks Order

Or perhaps more accurately, I’d like to have my name spelled correctly on it.

3. A Souvenir Keychain or Fridge Magnet

Ideally without having to special order it. Those of you with unusual names will recollect well the sadness of searching souvenir stand after souvenir stand in search of a keychain with your name on it and never once finding one. Siiiiiigh.

4. A Jar of Cookie Butter

Come on, Trader Joe’s. You know you’d make a killing with something like this.

5. The Next Song to Come Up on Shuffle on My iPod

Doesn’t everyone secretly wish for a talented musician to write a song for them?

6. The Pizza I’m Planning on Ordering for Dinner Tonight

To be clear, I don’t just want my name written on the box or on the receipt or whatever. I want my name spelled out in pepperoni on top of the pizza itself.

7. A Movie Theater Seat

You know when people arrive late for a movie, yet they still expect you to change your seat to allow their impossibly large group to sit with each other? You can always say no — but now if they respond by asking you, “Why, does that seat have your name on it?”, you can say, “Why, yes it does, as a matter of fact.” And then you can actually show it to them. I’d call that a win.

Images: Selfridges; Giphy (7)