17 Beyonce "7/11" Music Video Moments That Could Only Happen If You Are, Well, Beyonce
I was one of the Beyoncé fans left incredibly bereft when the queen decided to pull the "7/11" leak off the Internet — at least until she followed that up by releasing a music video for "7/11," which was clearly intended to be her next single. After sending off a mental apology to the Beyhive for not being patient, I felt free to dance around my room while watching the video, which featured Beyoncé dancing around her house to her new club hit. However, the more times I watched "7/11," the more it became clear to me that many of the events in the video are impossible. I mean, I have enough trouble trying to figure out what the title "7/11" means without adding the mystery of exactly how Beyoncé pulled this video off to it.
If you watch "7/11" from start to finish, it's incredibly obvious that everything that happens in it could only happen to Beyoncé. Even if you're an amazing dancer, even if you have the upper body strength and flexibility to pull off her complex and occasionally back-breaking moves, there are still some elements of "7/11" that you just shouldn't even attempt unless you wake up as Beyoncé. She either makes them look way cooler or makes them seem possible even though they're not possible for us mere mortals.
Confused as to what I'm talking about? Check out these sixteen moments in the "7/11" music video that could only happen to Bey.
1. Beyoncé can celebrate three holidays at once.
Well, let's see here. Beyoncé is wearing a personalized Christmas sweater and dancing in front of a tree. She's wearing 2015 New Year's glasses on her face and, at the end of the video, she has a striped blowout. Finally, there's a table in the background that, though it has Christmas decorations on it, is probably where they're going to celebrate Thanksgiving. Only Bey could celebrate three holidays at once and make it work.
2. Beyoncé can make a baby disappear.
When Beyoncé starts jumping on her bed, Blue Ivy is asleep under the covers. But when she finishes jumping on the bed, Blue Ivy has disappeared and doesn't appear for the rest of the video. Bey is clearly an amazing magician who can make a baby disappear if she wants to. Or, rather, who can make a small child disappear.
3. Beyoncé can bring twerking back.
Sure, Miley Cyrus might think twerking is dead, but it's only dead for her. Not only is Bey the real queen of twerking, but she can bring it back a lot more easily than Cyrus can make the Nae Nae catch on. Sorry, Nicki Minaj and "Anaconda," but only Bey can reignite the twerking phase.
4. Beyoncé can look like a queen in anything.
She's wearing graphic leggings, a Playboy sweater, and not even a real crown as she sits cross-legged on the ground, and yet Bey still looks like a queen perched on a throne. Move over Kate Middleton; this is American royalty right here.
5. Beyoncé can start an underwear party on the balcony.
I don't know about you, but even if I was having an underwear party at a friend's house there is no way she could convince me to go out on the balcony with no pants on. In broad daylight. Or let her film me. Even if she was Beyoncé. So, clearly only Beyoncé could do this.
6. Beyoncé can transform into a cat.
I think this might actually bump us up to celebrating four holidays at once, if Beyoncé's transformation into a sexy feline counts as very belated Halloween.
7. Beyoncé can beat the "Anaconda" video in her own home.
Even with all of the make up and on-location shooting that went with the "Anaconda" music video, Beyoncé still managed to beat it with only a few friends in matching underwear in a video she shot at her house in probably one day. Only Bey could do that.
8. Beyoncé can steal Christmas.
This year, instead of watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas, we should all watch How the Bey Stole Christmas. Or, better yet, How the Bey Stole Christmas and Got Away With It Even Though She Didn't Put Those Presents Back Like the Grinch Did.
9. Beyoncé can become a cheerleader at any age.
I like to believe that every cheerleading party involves a group of at least six cheerleaders building a pyramid inside their home. (If you are a cheerleader, don't correct me. You will crush my spirit.) However, only Beyoncé could emulate this cheerleading staple when she is a) in her 30s and b) to the best of my knowledge was never actually a cheerleader. It's never too late to start.
10. Beyoncé can wear shoes in the bedroom.
She's a grown woman. She can do whatever she wants. Even wear boots in the bedroom.
11. Beyoncé can be the only Christmas present you need.
Am I the only one who stopped focusing on every single present in the room as soon as Beyoncé popped out of that box? Can you imagine getting the real, live Beyoncé for Christmas instead of just a CD or a little toy car? Sure, getting any celebrity as a Christmas present would be impressive, but only Beyoncé is Beyoncé.
12. Beyoncé can make phone calls on her foot.
Who needs a cell phone when you're flexible enough to use your foot to make phone calls? Only Beyoncé.
13. Beyoncé can look flawless even while dizzy.
Spin around in a circle until you're almost ready to throw up. Now go look at yourself in the mirror. Is your hair flawless? Can you see less than two of yourself in the mirror? I didn't think so. Only Beyoncé could look this good right after she finished twirling, OK?
14. Beyoncé can live the Matrix.
I can't even.
15. Beyoncé can be a tour guide.
It was very nice of Beyoncé to take time out of her video to make sure we properly appreciated the skyline view she has of whatever city she is in. How many of your faves would ever?
16. Beyoncé can twerk one butt cheek at a time.
All right, all right, I'm sure many celebrities can probably twerk one butt cheek at a time. It might be a special skill that they all have that we just don't know about. It just seems a hundred times cooler when Beyoncé does it.
17. Beyoncé can make a music video that's also an exercise tape.
Try doing any or all of the moves that Beyoncé does in the music video and you'll be shedding pounds in no time. It's basically dancercise. Or jazzercise. Beyoncise? Whatever it is, it's awesome and only Beyoncé could pull this off.
Check out the music video below.
Image: YouTube (18)