@TinderNightmares Instagram Can Teach Us Many Valuable Lessons About Online Dating
I’m sure there are a lot of amazing people on Tinder — but there are also a lot of terrifying people on it as well. Just in case you felt like losing a little faith in humanity today, take a look at @TinderNightmares, an Instagram account showcasing the worst Tinder has to offer. But hey, at least we can all learn a few valuable lessons about online dating from it, right?
With a first post dating back to October 31, 2014, @TinderNightmares is still quite new; it features screenshots of Tinder conversations so questionable you can’t help but wonder, “Why?! Why would anyone think that saying that was a good idea?!” Although it’s pretty easy to mock up a text message screenshot these days, they’re all reportedly real stories—and they accept submissions, so if you’ve got one of your own, either send them a direct message on Instagram or shoot them an email at TinderTerrors AT gmail DOT com.
Here’s the thing: Yes, Tinder is primarily a hookup app — but that doesn’t give you free reign to be as monstrously inappropriate as you want. Neither does swiping right mean you will automatically get laid, for that matter; all it indicates is general interest. You know what kills that interest with the speed of a thousand gazelles? Being any one of the 12 people seen here. Most of the examples seen here feature guys behaving badly, but so we’re clear, no one should be acting like this — male, female, cat, clown, superhero, whatever. A little respect and common courtesy shouldn’t be too much to ask in any situation from any person.
Without further ado, I present to you 12 people you should never be on Tinder — or in real life. Head on over to @TinderNightmares on Instagram for more.
1. The “By the Way, I’m a Porn Star” Guy
I’m not sure which is worse: The humblebrag method used to drop the information that he’s a porn star (which, let’s face it, is a probably a lie anyway)… or the whole, y’know, 16-year-old sister thing. To say that he misjudged the situation would be putting it mildly.
2. The Overbearing Control Freak
A word to the wise: Telling someone “You should do X, Y, and Z because I said so” when you’ve never even met them doesn’t make the best first impression. No one owes it to you to present themselves the way you think they should.
3. The “I Have to Have the Last Word” Guy
Really? You couldn’t just let it go when you didn’t receive a reply six months ago?
4. “Big D”
Yes. It definitely stands for “douche.”
5. The No-Filter Guy
Remember that whole thing where “looking like a slut” is a stupid social construct that doesn’t actually exist?
6. The Emoji Enthusiast
Apparently this person communicates exclusively in emoji.
7. The Stock Response
As it is in applying for jobs, so it is in answering online dating messages: Proofread your cover letter at least twice — and make sure you’ve addressed the damn thing to the correct person before hitting “send.”
8. The Cheater
9. The Shallow End of the Pond
A-plus response, though.
10. The Imaginary Relationship
11. The Escalation
...I have no words.
12. The Word Problem
Here’s the problem with pickup lines: They’re dumb. All of them — they are always dumb. No matter how clever you think you’re being… you're not. So don’t. Just... don’t.