9 Things To Never Say To a Hardcore Fifth Harmony Fan

In the year 2012, Simon Cowell created a group comprised of five young women who auditioned as solo artists for the second season of The X Factor. The pop quintet of Ally Brooke, Camila Cabello, Normani Hamilton, Dinah Jane Hansen, Lauren Jauregui would go on to become Fifth Harmony. And the rest, as they say, is BO$tory.

If you are not a fan of 5H, that's your prerogative, you're entitled to your opinions, et cetera. That being said, may I suggest you avoid saying any of the following things to a Harmonizer:

"They’re just a product of the pop music machine & that's lame"

Sure, the group was put together by Simon Cowell, but so what? Just because a pop group was assembled by someone else doesn’t mean it’s a bad pop group. The Spice Girls, the Backstreet Boys, and One Direction are just a few of the very successful, very great musical outfits that didn’t happen organically.

"They're Bruno Mars's sisters, right?"

I guess I can kinda see why someone might be confused about this? 5H's original name was LYLAS, and Bruno Mars's sisters' group is called The Lylas. LYLAS/5H is not The Lylas.

(While the group was still competing on The X Factor, they changed the name to 1432. Cowell did not dig this name. The X Factor fans voted on a new name, and that name was Fifth Harmony.)

"They aren't good singers."

HAHAHAHAHA, WHAT? That is so untrue.

Two questions:

  1. Do you not have ears?
  2. Does Simon Cowell strike you as the sort of person who wants to further a bad singer's career?

"How great can they really be? They didn't win their season of The X Factor."

You know who else didn't win their season of a singing competition reality show? Jennifer Hudson, One Direction, Clay Aiken, Katharine McPhee, Cher Lloyd— you get the picture, yes?

"They’re Nothing Like Spice Girls/Destiny’s Child/Pussycat Dolls."

Well, duh. They aren’t a Spice Girls/Destiny’s Child/Pussycat Dolls cover group. They’re their own group and they’re doing their own thing.

"G.R.L./Little Mix/the Saturdays is Waaaaaay Better."

Now, now. No need to pit girl groups against each other. The pop music world isn't a Highlander situation. There can be more than one girl group and they can coexist in peace.

"The 'Sledgehammer' Music Video Is Boring."

[Does the Sledgehammer dance move.]

"Ugh, I can't stand girl groups."

I do not envy your taste in music.

"You’re too old to listen to that stuff."

LOLOLOLOL BYYYYYYE.

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