It can be tough being a cat owner at Christmastime. Seriously, felines and festive décor just don’t mix. I learned that the hard way a couple years ago after adopting a kitten and buying an artificial Christmas tree for my first post-college home. I played Christmas music and decorated my fake evergreen, pleased with how adorable my fur child looked all nestled under it when I was done. Little did I know, my monster would turn that tree into his lair and destroy it in less than a week. As I took down my ornaments and trashed the broken tree, I was literally sobbing and telling my cat he “ruined Christmas.”
Don’t worry, my friends. I finally mustered up the courage to buy a Christmas tree again this year (a real one this time), and it’s still standing! You know, minus an ornament or two. And even though my cat hasn’t tried climbing it yet, I’m secretly terrified I’ll come home from work one day and find him purring in a nest of pine needles and broken ornaments. So if you're a fellow cat lady — or just genuinely interested in hearing what jerks cats can be — this list is for you.
1. Your cat thinks every decoration is a toy
Ornaments and garland? You must mean shiny playthings and giant pieces of string to tear down.
2. And becomes a wild animal around the Christmas tree
If your cat stays indoors, this tree is the closest it will get to nature. Your domesticated friend might even think you bought a fancy new cat tree. Check out those expert climbing skills!
3. If you try to get your cat out of the tree, he FREAKS OUT
Nope. Never going to happen.
4. Because it's actually his home now
There's already water in the tree stand, so just pass the cat food and your feline will never have to leave his new abode.
5. When your cat knocks over the tree, you react super reasonably
All of your Christmas dreams are now dead.
6. Even miniature trees are doomed
You thought that baby pine would be safe in your apartment? Sucker.
7. Oh, and don't even bother with lights
Wait, that electrical cord wasn't a toy either?
8. Stockings are actually cat-sized sleeping bags
It would be nice and toasty near the fireplace.
9. And it's impossible to wrap presents
I'm sure your cat is just trying to help...
10. Plus, there's fur in all of your Christmas bakery
Whatever, I'm still eating it.
11. But in the end you get sweet revenge
I recommend dressing your cat in reindeer ears or a snowman hat. Mine just loved the latter.
12. And wish your favorite feline a happy holiday
The holidays just wouldn't be the same without him.
Images: A+E Networks/Photo by Karla Braun; Giphy (8); Tumblr (4)