Stephen Colbert is currently prepping to shed his ultra right-wing conservative character — devastating, I know — to join the ranks of late night television. So, what's a better way to prepare than by securing the most sought-after interview in the nation: President Obama. On Monday, Obama made an exclusive appearance on The Colbert Report, just a day after Colbert (the real one, not the conservative) hosted the Kennedy Center Honors at the White House. Titled "Mr. Colbert Goes to Washington, D.C. Ya Later Legislator: Partisan is Such Sweet Sorrow: A Colbert Victory Lap '14," it was only fitting that the bittersweet send-up episode would feature the zaniest combination of the Obamacare-hating Colbert and... Obama.
Filming from George Washington University in Washington, D.C., Colbert invited Obama onto his show to answer some tough, hardball questions. But first, the president surprised Colbert by showing up early. Obama had one job: to take over Colbert's position.
"Stephen, you've been taking a lot of shots at my job," the president said. "I decided I'm going to go ahead and take a shot at yours."
And he did, beautifully. "How hard could this be?" Obama asked.
As it turns out, no so hard. Instead of doing Colbert's standard "The Word" segment, Obama switched it up and did "The Decree." The president then took jabs at both himself and his controversial healthcare system.
"Nation, as you know, I, Stephen Colbert, have never cared for our president," Obama said. "The guy is so arrogant. I bet he talks about himself in the third person."
We know you do, Obama. We know you do.
Later in the show, Obama sat down with Colbert for a formal interview. It got off to a pretty standard start. "Are you still president after the midterms?" Colbert asked.
Yes, Obama is, though the president admitted that midterm elections "didn't go as I would've liked." But let's move on to the more important matters. Colbert decided to press the president on the Keystone XL Pipeline, and made his pitch to Obama:
I have a suggestion that I think might kill two birds with one Keystone. This one's free, you can use this. We don’t take it to Louisiana. We take it to the Canadian border, build that pipe over the Mexican border, we leave the other end open with a sign that says mucho jobso. The people take the thing all the way over the border, they end up in Canada, ad the Canadians are too polite to kick them out and there’s your immigration policy. It’s all taken care of.
Obama's response? "That sounds like a ridiculous idea," the president said. "But that's why you're where you are."
What are some other tidbits we learned about Obama last night? He doesn't get excited when he hears the words "President Barack Obama," unlike most Americans he loves his job, and Michelle, Malia and Sasha tease him mercifully for his "big ears." He also likes to leave his socks on the floor.
Oh, and: "You have the nuclear launch codes, right?," Colbert asked. "I’m not gonna ask for them. Can you tell me if there’s a five in there?" (Answer: no, there is not).
You can watch the full show and interview with Obama at Colbert's website.
Image: screenshot/The Colbert Report