Their Life Together Is One Big John Legend Song

Today’s deep question: what is it like to be married to John Legend? I mean, the man speaks in Petrarchan sonnets. I feel like at a certain point, my brain would explode from all the overwhelming affection. As John Legend’s spouse, Chrissy Teigen actually lives this life of constant, high-octane love. Yep, at least some of those hyper-lovey John Legend lyrics are actually about Chrissy Teigen, which is a life that I cannot imagine living... a life of EPIC romance.

Even the most banal of married couple activities, like filing their taxes or picking out new appliances, probably feel like grandiose shows of affection for these two. After all, Legend is a master of the musical beau geste. Every morning is a new opportunity for him to wax poetic about her beauty. When they take trips to Home Depot to check out new moldings for their house, she probably can’t get a straight answer on what he likes. The only response she gets is: “Love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections.” And then she’s like. “No, seriously. This is something we need to make a decision about.”

Because there is such a thing as being so in love it’s hilarious, let’s imagine all of the John Legend lyrics that the singer pulls out on Teigen every day.

When He Asks Her to Hit Snooze on the Alarm Clock

Before you worry about your hairBaby give me one more hourI want you to stay right there

When They Watch Jeopardy Together & She Sweeps a Category

What's going on in that beautiful mindI'm on your magical mystery rideAnd I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright

When She's Running Late for Work

Oh c'mon, make time to live a littleDon't let this moment slip by tonightYou'll never know what you're missing'Till you try, I'll keep you satisfied if you stay

When She's Getting Dressed in the Morning

You fix your make up, just soGuess you don't know, that you're beautifulTry on every dress that you ownYou were fine in my eyes a half hour ago

When She's Like, "Our TV is Kinda Old... Maybe We Should Get a New One..."

Though relationships can get oldThey have the tendency to grow coldWe have something like a miracleYeah, and I'll stay with you

Oh mah gah, guys. You're gonna make me hurl. You're so adorable.

Image: Getty Images