9 New Year’s Resolutions Justin Bieber Should Make for 2015
I know that they say the years get shorter as you get older, but this is ridiculous. Somehow, someway, an entire year has passed us right on by like a waiter with a steaming, delectable tray of goodness that you think is yours, but isn't. But why dwell on something that's over, right? We can't get 2014 back, but we can try to prepare for 2015. Listen, I'm not much for New Year's resolutions, but I suppose they are an optimistic, healthy way to try and make the next 12 months worth something. But, because it is the holiday season and I am so very selfless, I think that instead of making a good deed itinerary for myself, I'll sacrifice and make one for the less fortunate. Because if anyone needs a New Year's resolution, it's Justin Bieber.
Undoubtedly, 2014 has been a rough year for Bieber. Not that he didn't bring most (or, like, all) of the roughness on himself, but at this point I'm not even sure if he can help himself. There's a highly infectious immaturity virus coursing through his veins and it is attacking each and every cell mercilessly. So, in the spirit of giving, here are a few New Years resolution suggestions for The Biebs. Because I'm not too sure he could figure this out by himself.
1. Abstain From:
Especially when indoors.
2. Wear Shirts
No one wants to see that, bro.
3. Return Kanye's Skirt to Its Rightful Owner
4. Hire a Proper Tailor
You've got the funds, put em' too good use.
5. Leave Your Crotch Out of It
And by it, I mean everything.
6. Write an Apology to the Creators of How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Yeah, well, so can Matthew McConaughey.
7. Poop in Toilets, Not on Cars :(
You're better than that.
8. Make a Point to Study the Following Words
9. Finally, Be More Like This Guy
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