5 Names Kim Kardashian and Kanye West Will Definitely Not Call Their Baby

Everyone thinks Kim and Kanye are going to have the wackiest, weirdiest, most self-absorbed baby name of all time. (Get worried, Blue Ivy.) And, yes, sure — maybe they will! Still, in this time of wait — these few, blissful moments of uncertainty about just how curious E!'s newest bundle of ratings' namesake may be — it's safe to assume that it will definitely not be any one of these especially weird suggestions that the folks at PaddyPower (a digital bookie for gamblers everywhere) have put forth in their odds ranking.

Which isn't to say the name won't be unusual, since Kanye and his mother Donda are examples of one side of the new family's proclivity for unique first names, to say nothing of the Kooky Kardashian K Kobsession (that last K is silent). But even amongst all that glorious naming potential, there are a few oddball choices that really, truly stand-out.

1.) North/South/East: Let's lump these all three together for our navigationally-oriented friends. Kanye and Kim will probably never have a child named after compass directionals, as cute as the idea might seem to the nautically inclined. That said, I wouldn't put it past 'Ye to consider it for the purely novel chance that his future daughter South West may become a fashion designer and create a capsule collection called South By South West, overshadowing/stealing the SXSW festival moniker. Because a Kardashian-West must envelope all of the spotlight in the world, lest it perish forevermore.

2.) Narnar: I don't even know what this means. So, I googled it and the most common answer is that Narnar is not actually a name, just a thing SoCal stoners say as a goofy replacement for the word "gnarly." So no.

3.) Talin: A misspelled variation on the word "talon" is hardly name-worthy, my dudes. Ha ha, just kidding: Talin is actually the name of one of the oldest residential towns in all of Armenia. But seriously — does anyone think that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have a thorough knowledge of Armenian geography?

4.) Kakav: Another Armenian name that means "partridge." It does have a 'K' in it, but it's not nearly Americanized enough for a truly modern Kardashian gal. Plus every time Kim or Kanye yell for little "Kakav" to come into the house it'll sound like they're mimicking a bunch of crows. Oh and she will definitely be called "CaCa" for her entire life, and that's just mean.

5.) Hagop: This is actually a boy's name. Kanye and Kim had a girl. Also it sounds like the name George R.R. Martin would give Hodor's love interest in some meet cute situation.