8 New Year’s Resolutions the 'Once Upon a Time' Characters Should Make To Have a Magical 2015
Christmas may be considered the most wonderful time of the year, but let me tell you, New Year’s isn’t so shabby either. In fact, sometimes I daresay I even prefer it over Christmas. I don’t know, there’s just something about the idea of a fresh start that I find particularly uplifting. Like hey, maybe I’ll actually follow through on some of those resolutions this year! (No, seriously, it’s going to happen this time, you guys.) Speaking of which, there are quite a few Once Upon a Time characters who could do well to follow through with a few New Year’s resolutions themselves for the coming year.
Last we saw, our fairytale favorites had gotten themselves into quite the magical predicament yet again now that Storybrooke is about to be invaded by the formidable Queens of Darkness. (Anyone else starting to get the feeling that this town is not the safest place to live BTW?) Anyway! The point is it’s been a bit of a tough year for this cast of characters and from the look of things, it’s all about to get a whole lot worse. So I think now would be as good a time as any for them to air our their past mishaps by making a few resolutions for 2015. It’s time to get your acts together, dearies, if you ever hope to achieve that oh-so coveted happily ever after.
Rumple: Kick That Magic Habit
As we all know by now, Rumple’s major downfall in life is the fact that he covets magic and power above everything else — even true love. It’s a problem he’s always struggled with. (Didn’t anyone tell him that magic comes with a price?) However, maybe that’s because he’s never gone about knocking the habit the right way. Maybe there's some sort of Magic-aholics Anonymous meetings Rumple could start going to. It would really be a great aid in helping him kick that nasty habit of his. In time, he may even grow to realize that he prefers the man he is when he’s ruling his actions by his heart and not his ego. It's all about the baby steps, people, and that may be exactly what this dearie needs.
Emma: Denounce Your Lying Superpower
Honestly, girl, you have been lied to so many times in this season alone without realizing it, I think it’s safe to say that supposed "superpower" of yours is officially dunzo. You have many, many great attributes, Miss Swan, but I’m sorry, being a lie detector is not one of them. It’s time to give up that ghost.
Snow White: Be More Proactive
While Flashback Snow White is repeatedly badass, I rarely get to see her present day self do anything that exciting as of late, save for a brief sword fight with a very goth-fabulous looking Regina. Let’s have more of that in the future, shall we? I know you’re a new mommy (both on and off screen), but having you be part of the action makes everything a much more enjoyable experience. And someone recruit this lady for all of these secret missions already. You know she’d be awesome addition to Operation Mongoose.
Charming: Develop a New Romantic Slogan
It’s not that I don’t enjoy the occasional “I will always find you” line. It’s just that sometimes it feels a little overdone and thereby lacks that same romantic essence it once possessed. I mean, I get it. You’re great at finding things. (But by the same token, I guess you’re also great at losing things?) All I’m saying is that sometimes a nice, sweet “I love you” will suffice.
Regina: Focus on the Haves, Not the Have-Nots
Look, I understand that Regina wants and desires her shot at a happy ending. But I don’t completely agree that it should entirely be centered around a guy. She is a super powerful queen, who can rock a gothic frock like nobody’s business. Basically, she has a lot to be thankful for and proud of. So while yes, it’s sad that right now things with Robin look bleak at best, it’d be nice if she recognized just how great she is even without a handsome man by her side. You rock, girl. And don’t you forget it.
Hook: More Guyliner
Just always, whenever in doubt, more guyliner.
Belle: Discover the Internet
Books are great and everything, but this librarian seriously needs to update her research methods. In a crisis, it’ll take 10 times longer to find the answer to something than it would if they just Googled it. Does Storybrooke even have WiFi? Because they should definitely think of investing in it. I mean, given all the curses and evil threats that they deal with, it’ll practically pay for itself. So come on, Belle, it’s time to finally get with the times and modernize those research capabilities. Also, maybe don’t be so trusting anymore. As much as I love you and Rumple together, I think a little extra caution never hurt anyone. Just saying.
Henry: Contribute to the Plot in Any Way
This definitely sounds meaner than I want it to, especially since he is still a kid and everything. But really, what has this character done that has been in any way useful? Other than sweeping the same floor over and over again, he’s barely had any role to play this season, let alone an interesting one. Hopefully this whole storybook author plot will be just the thing to help get this guy out of his Season 4 slump. Please?
So let’s all just raise our classes and toast to a great 2015 for Once and for all. Cheers!
Images: Jack Rowand/ABC (7); ABC (2)