Season 5 of Portlandia is coming and you know what that means: birds, bikes, seminars, and all the free range organic comedy IFC can muster. In anticipation of the upcoming season, the series has released a brand new clip of your favorite feminist bookstore proprieters in their pre-Portlandia days. The hilarious video takes us back to the '90s where our gals face-off in a pop and locking dance battle to end all Krush Groove-inspired dance battles. It's a bit odd to see these two in power suits, but even stranger to see them as rivals. Consider it a Zima-sponsored origin story of their granola futures.
Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein (whose band Sleater-Kinney will be releasing a highly-anticipated album this year) deliver the finest and fiercest moves from the time when Arsenio Hall ruled and Bill Clinton played the sax straight into our nation's hearts. Though their outfits and haircuts are vastly different, their power remains the same. Candace's rage is let out of her body in animalistic bouts of rump-shaking, while Toni's deep sensuality is accented by her undulating body beneath a giant white blazer.
This back story to Toni and Candace not only teaches us about the long and twisted tale of Portlandia's most righteous literati, but also of what it meant to be a strong, independent, sassy woman of the '90s. Take a look:
Be Proud of Your Womanhood
Drink that frozen daiquiri and still be the baddest bitch in the room.
Bangs and Shoulder Pads Define Power
Hard and soft angles show off your diversity.
Make Sure Your Lipstick Matches Your Aura
Mid-Calf Skirts Make the Woman
Sexy legs be damned. Let the world know, the danger zone is right in between the knee and the ankle.
Always Remind EVERYONE Whose Got the Power
You've got it.
Check out the clip here: