Entertainment

What Happened On Season 3 of 'Girls'?

by Kaitlin Reilly

New York City's favorite hot messes are back — at least, come Jan. 11. Hannah, Marnie, Jessa and Shoshanna's post-graduate (mis)adventures may bring waves of panic-induced nausea to the millennials tuning in, but Girls is way too fun of a ride to get off of. And luckily, we don't have to — HBO has already renewed Girls for a fifth season, which means we have tons of Hannah's whining and Marnie's singing to look forward to in the future. But just in case you missed out on all of the shenanigans that happened in Season 3 of the HBO dramedy, Bustle is here to catch you up in time for Sunday's premiere. Here's what happened to the girls of Girls in Season 3.

Shoshanna

  • Decides to "sow her wild oats" post-split with Ray; ends up banging a lot of hot, dumb dudes
  • Attempts to focus on her studies; ends up banging a lot of hot, dumb dudes instead
  • Picks up social smoking
  • Cuts ties with Ray... after he tells her that he no longer wants to be her friend
  • Decides that sleeping around isn't working for her anymore; secretly pines for Ray when she learns he's actually getting his life together
  • Gets all #realtalk on her friends during their girls weekend at that Hamptons and becomes the first person on the show to call Hannah out on her narcissism.
  • Helps Jessa's toxic rehab boyfriend reconnect with his 20-something daughter
  • Finds out that she isn't eligible to graduate from NYU after failing a required class
  • Attacks Marnie for sleeping with Ray behind her back
  • Begs Ray to take her back, to which he essentially replies, "thanks, but no thanks"

Life Grade: C. Sure, Shosh may think she's flailing right now, but isn't that what the last semester of college is for?

Jessa

  • Secretly goes to rehab; performs oral sex on Taystee from Orange is the New Black
  • Makes her friends pick her up from rehab for essentially no reason whatsoever
  • Visits the home of her "dead friend," finds out that the friend isn't dead at all — just avoiding her
  • Works at a baby boutique; ends up stealing money from the store for drugs when her rehab friend Jasper breezes back into town
  • Finally admits to Shoshanna that she's a junkie
  • Gets a job as a personal assistant to an artist who asks her to help her commit suicide
  • Assists her boss in her suicide, only to have the boss back out immediately after taking the pills

Life Grade: D+. Jessa doesn't take anything in her life particularly seriously, and though it took some self-awareness to admit she has a problem, it's just the first step to solving it — not the only step.

Marnie

  • Heartbroken over Charlie's impromptu breakup — they were going to make barbecue pizza!
  • Quits Grumpy's after her co-workers make fun of her (awesomely terrible) music video for Edie Brickell's "What I Am."
  • Moves into her own apartment; gets most adorable kitten in the world; kitten is never heard from again
  • Has hate sex with Ray; is not a one-time thing
  • Starts growing kind of fond of Ray
  • Gets dumped by Ray
  • Starts a two-person band with Desi, a very taken actor whom Marnie develops a crush on
  • Feels rejected by Desi, has sex with Ray; Hannah catches them in the act
  • Hooks up with Desi; continues to live in her own bubble of unreality

Life Grade: D. Once again, Marnie's lack of self-awareness is the most impressive thing about her. Well, that and her hair.

Hannah

  • Attends therapy sessions to cope with her OCD; seems to be working
  • In a (relatively) healthy live-in relationship with Adam
  • Learns that her eBook deal is dead after her editor actually, uh, dies
  • Starts working at GQ in the "advertorial" department
  • Quits GQ, despite all of the free snacks
  • Feels threatened when Adam gets a part in a Broadway show; dons a blonde wig for a bizarre and elaborate roleplay scenario to spice up their relationship
  • Learns that Adam is moving out of their shared so he can focus on his acting; is not super thrilled about this
  • Gets accepted into the University of Iowa's writers' workshop; her parents tell her that they'll "make it work"
  • Gets into a fight with Adam at the premiere of his play; decides (maybe) that Iowa is the place for her

Life Grade: B+. Yep, Hannah did alright this season. Sure, she spent a majority of the season focused on her relationship and screwing up a variety of jobs, but at the end of the day, she chose herself. Brava, Han. Brava. Cannot wait for what the world has in store for you next.

Images: HBO/Craig Blankenhorn; Giphy (4)