The Starbucks Flat White Horrifies Australians With Its Very Existence

As you may have blearily noticed in line at Starbucks this morning, the coffee chain began offering that Australian staple of espresso drinks, the Flat White, on January 6th. While that probably had no effect on your usual order of a triple grande soy latte, it's kind of a big deal to the Land Down Under — meaning that Australians are freaking out about the Starbucks Flat White. So... not only does Australia have the sexiest men, but it's also full of scathingly witty coffee connoisseurs. If it weren't for the man-sized tarantulas and dinocrocs lurking around every corner, I'd be on the next flight to Sydney, like, yesterday.

Maybe my current location is for the best, though, because judging from the online reactions to the Starbucks version of a Flat White, I would be a social pariah for ever having worked there. Australians notoriously despise the coffee chain, forcing it to close 60 out of 84 stores in eight years. The country is known for its indie cafe culture, which has been around Down Under much longer than in the States, and it simply didn't allow the 'Bux to gain a foothold. I'm sure you're not surprised to learn that, according to Mashable, Australians are pretty darn put out that the chain would dare to add a drink that originated in Australia (or New Zealand, depending on who you ask) to their menu.

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There were a few slightly more positive reviews, however. Professional Australian and journalist David Marr gave it a "not bad," which really is the best Starbucks could hope for in this situation.

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Americans, meanwhile, remain kinda confused about the hullabaloo.

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You crazy kids have fun, but I'll stick to my usual Americano until the dust from all the debating has settled. 



Images: Starbucksadventuresofajavajunkie/Tumblr

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