14 Memorable 'Saturday Night Live' Props I Need in My Life

Brace yourselves: we're about to embark in a Simpsons-style marathon with the last 40 years of Saturday Night Live style. Starting Thursday, VH1 is going to have a 433 hour marathon of Saturday Night Live, and while I can't wait to be reintroduced to some classic characters, I'm also looking forward to seeing some famous SNL props that really stole the show.

And I'm not just talking about the items that appear in faux commercials, although god knows I would do well with a hefty dose of Swiftamine. There are definitely some appendages, accessories, and baked goods I would love to swipe off the set, Bill Hader style. Though I looked high and low across the Internet, I couldn't capture EVERY covetable item. I wish I could include, for example, the scallops wrapped in bacon, wrapped $100 bills at Kim Kardashian's Fairytale divorce. Or the sensitive boyfriend made of popsicle sticks from Being Quirky With Zooey Deschanel. Or, naturally, the monkey from Sprockets. Still, I definitely found a lot of items I wish I could have.

So I'm going to take this opportunity to give some props to the props of SNL, specifically the myriad of practical everyday items I could use.

1. Wayne Campbell's Hat (with a side of Garth Algar's Glasses)

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Timeless, available online, and pretty much all you need for the easiest (and best) Halloween costume.

2. A Jennifer Aniston Wig

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Saturday Night Live has a grand history of great wigs, but idk, this one makes Zach Galifianakis a dead ringer for Rachel Green. SO aspirational.

3. Schweddy Balls

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I missed my chance to put my mouth around some Schweddy Balls when it was temporarily a seasonal Ben & Jerry's holiday flavor. I will regret that forever.

4. A Puppet with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

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I mean, I don't know if the puppet comes with PTSD and night terrors about 'Nam, but I still think it's important to channel your inner demons with a fun hobby.

5. Dooneese's Baby Hands

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Dooneese, the most beautiful of several singing sisters, is only made more elegant by her dainty baby hands. I can only imagine what a big hit I would be at the bars, picking up dude.

6. A Dick in a Box

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Eh, actually, I can't substantiate this claim unless it's Justin Timberlake. Perfectly nice box, tho.

7. This Exquisitely Tiny Cellphone

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Sometimes my iPhone 5 is so cumbersome, and Will Ferrell makes having a baby small flip phone look SO chic.

8. "Congrats on the Sex" Cake

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In college I used to treat myself to a cupcake after a successful hook-up. Since graduating, I've lost a whole ton of weight.

9. Brownie Husband

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A great substitute in case the "Congrats on the Sex" cake never comes to pass. It's that or 20 cats.

10. Festive Vests for Every Holiday

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Plus every holiday album Garth and Kat has ever put out. Who can forget those memorable lyrics from their hit Hannakuh song? I mean, besides Garth and Kat.

11. This Beer Uniform

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Oh cool, it's my one of my great loves dressed up as another one of my great loves.

12. Origami

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To make me seem like I'm the most interesting girl at the party.

13. "Single Ladies" Unitard, for Everyday Empowerment

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Truth be told my dance moves are closer to Andy Samberg's than they are to Beyonce. And let's face it, so are yours, probably.

14. (More) Cowbell

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What can I say, I gotta fever.

Images: NBC, Giphy (14)