15 Stages of Grieving Ian Somerhalder & Nikki Reed's Engagement

BEVERLY HILLS, CA - JANUARY 11: Nikki Reed and Ian Somerhalder attend the 2015 InStyle And Warner Bros. 72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards Post-Party at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on January 11, 2015 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)
Source: Jason Merritt/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

And just like that, another dreamy Hollywood bachelor gets taken off the market… for good. As you would expect, word has continued to spread like wildfire over the rather shocking news that Ian Somerhalder and Nikki Reed are officially engaged. I mean… is this real life?!?! First Benedict Cumberbatch and now our favorite CW vampire? How much more is a girl expected to take, people? I've never heard of a nightmare journal before, but if they, in fact, actually do exist, I'm pretty sure this is the living version of mine. Now, I don't mean to deprive the Smolderholder of happiness and true love. I'm just saying that I wish he was experiencing said feelings with someone else… like, oh, I don't know… me?

OK, fine. That may be a slightly unreasonable fantasy of mine. But the point is that this big piece of news is bound to break, stomp, and crush a few hearts out there (you know, other than mine). So I think the most healthy thing to do is talk about, which is why I've provided a complete rundown of the many, many, MANY emotional stages you've probably experienced since learning about this couple's speedy engagement. Just remember, we're all in this together.

At First, Your Brain Couldn't Comprehend What Was Happening

In Fact, You Thought It Must Be a Joke

A terrible, terrible joke.

But Then You Realized This Was For Real

And You Were SHOCKED

Followed Closely By Denial

Which Quickly Escalated to Anger

And Then Full-On Rage

Why Is This Happening?!

Was It Something We Did?

Don't They Realize What This Is Doing to You?

Just So. Many. Feelings.

You Are Leaking Out of What Feels Like Every Orifice

But Then You Calm Down

And Start Plotting Ways to Break Them Up

And When That Doesn't Work, Start Drinking

Cheers!

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