Finding an original baby name for your child is a difficult task for many, but it turns out parents no longer have to deal with the pressure of making such a momentous decision by themselves. Instead, they can just hire people to do it for them. A Swedish company called Erfolgswell will apparently find a unique and totally “unheard of” name suitable for your baby — all for only the low, low price of $35,000.
Yes, that’s right. For the cost of a luxury vehicle (a Mercedes-Benz CLA-Class starts at $29,900, just to put everything into perspective) or a couple years' worth of rent for some, Erfolgswell will create a name individually tailored to a specific family. How exactly do they ensure that the name is just the right one? Apparently, the process takes approximately 100 hours and requires a team of 13 copywriters and several children’s name specialists for guidance.
Oh, and that’s not all. For those who might be afraid of getting ripped off (y’know, 'cause the $35,000 price tag definitely isn’t enough to set off warning bells), parents can rest easy knowing their baby’s name will be truly one-of-a-kind. After creating the name, the service has four historians check it to make sure there are no negative connotations associated with it and that no one else had held it in the past. And because that’s obviously still not overkill, 12 translators then check to see that the name is not used in other countries and doesn’t translate into other words in any other language. The cherry on top of this absurdly overpriced cake? Two trademark attorneys also ensure that no other products hold the name. Erfolgswell provides you with all their market research, and then BOOM, your baby has his or her tailor-made name.
So there you have it — your baby can officially stand out with the Blue Ivys and Apples of the world. All it takes is one overcomplicated process, thousands of dollars, and pretty much all of your self-respect and dignity.