There's sledding... and then there's sledding... and then there's the Park City Mountain Resort's Alpine Coaster in Park City, Utah. And trust me — if this point-of-view video shot by Robb Alvey of the website Theme Park Review is to be believed, the former doesn't even begin to match up to the latter. When we talk about one experience not being able to hold a candle to another... I'm pretty sure this is what we're talking about. And I haven't been on the dang thing — I got all that just from a video of it. Impressive, no?
According to TODAY.com, Alvey has ridden over 1,500 rollercoasters in the service of Theme Park Review; this one, however? It's pretty unique. Situated in one of the snowiest areas in the country, it sticks you in miniature car running along a metal track and allows you to zip through the mountains in a flurry of snow and expletives (if you're old enough for strong language, that is). Cosmo called it a "snowlercoaster," which is A) accurate and B) possibly my favorite portmanteau word ever — and that's really saying something. I love me some portmanteau words.
As Alvey notes while zipping around a curve that coasters never look as fast on video as they do in person (or, perhaps more accurately, "these never look as fast on video as they are in person — holy crap! Ooooooooh man!"); even so, though, the POV video he shot gives you a pretty good idea of what the experience is like. If you've always wanted to give the luge a shot, but have been too freaked out by the possibility of, y'know, crashing to actually do it — the Alpine Coaster might be just what you need. And if you've always wanted to give the Alpine Coaster a shot, but have still been too freaked out by the whole idea... well, that's what this video is for. Get all of the thrills with none of the freezing cold temperatures. Everybody wins.
I would screencap this sucker for you guys, but you really have to watch it in all its glory in order to get the full experience, so... just do it. If you have two and a half minutes, you have enough time to watch it. My personal favorite moment? When he yells, "OH! HELIX OF SNOWY DEATH!" — by which I think he really means, helix of snowy awesome:
And just in case you can't get enough high-speed, wintery excitement, here's another one of Alvey's POV videos; this one features one of the longest snowtubing tracks I've ever seen at a different Park City resort, Gorgoza Park:
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find something around my house that's suitable for use as a sled. Has anyone else suddenly been struck by the overwhelming desire to find the tallest, snowiest hill they can and have a grand old day of it? Winter Storm Juno be damned — I'm going sledding!
Image: Theme Park Review/YouTube